haven't published anything in a looonnngg while. i think it's cuz i suddenly have this aversion to my home computers. lol. i don't like the keyboard.

anyway i just saw kim on national television! =) so happy, it was really cool. you pple should've acted wilder.
=) and i also just sent out this interesting sms about what people would want me to be if they could turn back time. i think it's interesting enough to be sent out as a mass sms, kinda like a note in phone form.

i'm on a listening spree. i've tried 3 completely new songs tonight, 1. Adele - Hometown Glory 2. Flo Rida feat. Wynter Gordan - Sugar 3. Paloma Faith - Stone Cold Sober. this one, i listed in order of my most liked to my least liked out of the three.

here are lyrics. thought they were interesting enough. stupid blogger doesn't allow me to colour them to make it more fun for you guys.

Round my hometown, memories are fresh
Round my hometown, ooh, the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world, are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world, are the wonders and now

I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque
I love it to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades
I like it in the city when two worlds collide
You get the people and the government
Everybody taking different sides

Have you ever been afraid of your phone?

OooOoooOoOoOooOooOooOOooOOo...

i don't know how to feel for tomorrow.
mostly peace, but some worry as well.
i don't know what to say for tomorrow.

Astrud Gilberto - The Girl From Ipanema

well, i can't run away from it.

why does the radio edit version almost always sound better than the original? sigh. it's so hard to be a purist.

anyway i need to get this off my chest before my brain forgets.
today has been a piss-y day. been feeling irritated at almost everything, i don't know why. well at least lunch and meeting some friends cheered me up abit =) dance too.

then to top the day off, i asked my parents about alternative career choices.
they misread me and became irritatingly defensive. and then it got me thinking. who's really in charge of my life?
i'm still thinking about it. i mean. i've always been content to live in the environment that was provided for me, but now?
i'm not too sure. i want to experience things for myself. maybe i'm being childish and immature. and i don't know what true hardship is. i don't know, and if i continue like this i'm certain i never will know.

you know, i just hope that someone ENCOURAGING will come along.
it's not for me to decide.
but please, please come soon.

fuck blogger.

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart

-

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God

-

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song.
You can't believe it; you were always singing along.
It was so easy and the words so sweet.
You can't remember; you try to feel the beat.

i thought of posting lyrics, but then i figured the song sounds like shit if you just read it.
so i won't.

it's from one of the artists that i never thought i'd like in my lifetime after hearing a couple of songs from him - Damien Rice. this guy has no image, no standout style of his own. but why do you need to shout when you can whisper? (or moan, in his case).

it's called 9 crimes. i'm so excited to share it with you. it's like stars after one of the members died.

Today I am going to kill something. Anything.

I have had enough of being ignored and today

I am going to play God. It is an ordinary day,

a sort of grey with boredom stirring in the streets

I squash a fly against the window with my thumb.

We did that at school. Shakespeare. It was in

another language and now the fly is in another language.

I breathe out talent on the glass to write my name.


I am a genius. I could be anything at all, with half

the chance. But today I am going to change the world.

Something's world. The cat avoids me. The cat

knows I am a genius, and has hidden itself.

I pour the goldfish down the bog. I pull the chain.

I see that it is good. The budgie is panicking.


Once a fortnight, I walk the two miles into town

For signing on. They don't appreciate my autograph.

There is nothing left to kill. I dial the radio

and tell the man he's talking to a superstar.

He cuts me off. I get our bread-knife and go out.

The pavements glitter suddenly. I touch your arm.

women, never become paranoid.
trust your husbands.
don't read too much into things.

trust them. that's all i can say. it's frustrating. don't think too much into things. please.

A Prayer

i.
i have this fear.
that i don't really know anything, even the things i know.
and that i wanna see the world before it's too late, because i feel the urge that i don't have enough TIME.
and everything i'm doing besides studying is a complete waste of time, which is ticking away furiously and without care even as people die from it.
i.
i want.
i want to see the world.
i want the world to give me some enlightened sense of purpose.
to know what i truly want in life.
to determine if i'm sheltered or not, and how to break out of the boundary.
to experience the joy and the comfort and the confidence that others have within themselves, to personally experience it without watching any shitty inspirational videos which are pre-recorded.
it must be spontaneous. and then it must come from me, myself.

i want to see the world.
i want to feel something which i have never felt before.
i want the courage to face it and to plunge into it with all my might and heart and soul, like a bungee jump.
and i want to love it.

History is such a freaking drag. Like seriously. the content is so dry but when you miss something out you miss quite alot. Like what I'm doing now by writing this blogpost. XP alright. What is it with southeast Asian history? I mean, it should be as interesting and engaging as international history...but it isn't. Sadly. There's this guy sitting a couple of rows in front of me...can't stand his bloody guts. Tamim's from his class. Gah. Poor Lucas.

Dance DSAs later! I'm so excited. Must present myself appropriately...unortunately it's difficult to keep a straight face. My potential juniors! freaking cool. Haven't done economics...hope I can get it done I don't really see how I can. And math...sigh. This is no different, even harder than before the holidays and the exams.

I forsee the need to persevere. I'll need help and motivation...if not I'll burn out too soon.

back to the crunch.
can't say i'm looking forward to school tmr...i'm still so tired out =X after all that running around and talking overnight.

i think i'll go sleep soon.
now there's that fear again.

it's finally over.
i'm so happy inside.
i can't remember when was the last time i felt this light and overjoyed, truly.

=)

now they're not even replying. sigh. sometimes i just have time in the wrong areas. or maybe i'm losing touch.

i'm acting up and building up on my criticism skills tonight and tomorrow morning. not so much the notes. but internalising the skills and concentrating hard in the face of many distractions (e.g. my music). running them through in my mind. runrunrun. rerun.
panic.

These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes

so many friends leaving or overseas now. i'm missing them already. damien, pris, ashley, rachna, joy.

and goes. there goes another one.

FUCK YOU.

hello people.

the big big hurdle is over. i think i'll be able to flow easily from now.
=)

i wanted to say something important...oh yes michael jackson! i won't be able to tune in tonight (or rather, tomorrow morning) at 1am but i wish michael all the best that can possibly be, and for him to rest in peace.

right now just quite stony. it's the pre-sleep mode...can't think of anything to say.
the next couple of days are going to be quite intense. work work and work.

tgigtbf.

Watching the sky
Watching a painting coming to life
Shifting and shaping
Staying inside
It all goes all goes by

whatever happens, you'll still be here, alive.
it's enough to be happy. =)

Posting from tuition.
Oh no.

/no point worrying, let it be done with it. no point worrying. if you want, worry during the exam, and then stop after 10 seconds. that's all you get.

a round of applause @ me is due.

i SURVIVED a whole day.
i SURVIVED a whole day at home almost by myself doing work HARD, and it was MATH. =) actually ENJOYED (yes, ENJOYED) the process to some small extent. don't know how. but yeah today was an interesting day. =) i've got some theories that jumped out of my mind but they're so not for here. heh.

okay! so. my blogskin rocks. and today i also found this guy (or girl, whatever) who does really really good pictures. one of my favourite collections (actually, my FAVOURITE) collection from the person is this series depicting the SEVEN DEADLY SINS. very very good artworks.

um...so yeah. i kept myself occupied today hooray! didn't feel bored one bit. alternating between tv, work and the computer. i even did something for PW. hahaha. yeah. this feels good. although i'm quite tired and i feel like having another bath.

FAB fabulous song i found yesterday and downloaded today. can't can't can't stop listening to it! found it on mtv or channel v...can't remember which one. ah yes channel v. the video's spectacular. was mesmerised watching it. here are some lyrics...but they don't channel the song or do it justice! you have to LISTEN to it!

oh yes it's EGO by BEYONCE!

It's too big, it's too wide
It's too strong, it won't fit
It's too much, it's too tough
I talk like this 'cause I can back it up

at home at 9.25am! when people are legally in school having chinese tests. feels kinda great =)

anyway not many things to say now. today's plan: study from about 1 to 5 at the airport. good one gaille.

here's a toast to my new blogskin! iloveit. DROWN YOU IN WARMTH.

I swear, math goes against the very fiber of my being. I could really feel the counterlogic being ingrained and infecting my reasoning habits with every painful mathematical step I took today.

I'm sorry to all my fantastic math teachers, but you should have chosen a more fulfilling subject to teach/ career to pursue in life.

God bless.

Anyway after a good night's sleep I am looking FORWARD to the dance meeting later :) I feel so at home and I hope the dancers feel the same way. I want to do something, just don't know where to start.

Got the project work entry proof this morning. Serves as a reminder to what's coming up and going to cause me ever more stress. Aiyo. I sound so hedonistic.

it's. under. control. i swear.

on what, i don't know. lol! my friends are my personal blogs. so fun when you think about it.

ARHGHGHGHGGG I HAVE MATHS TUITION TONIGHT. THE FIRST AFTER LIKE 7 MONTHS OF FREEDOM. back to bondage. ahhhh. why, maths? i have a serious love-hate relationship with it. when i'm doing it with a good teacher i love it but ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT I JUST GET MYSELF DAZED AND FRUSTRATED AND DEMORALISED!!!

great lah. thanks so much, school. unnecessary stress. just what i need. i'm so sick of living and breathing under the shadow of the monster next week. what are exams anyway? they're just black and white sheets of paper that somehow terrify the shit out of people. seriously. it's just like art. FUCKING HYPOCRITES.

anyway. helloooooo wheeeeeee. i hate to see myself reduced to a shriveling, yowling pile of emo. so i'm going to be EXPRESSIVE. wait, i always am. hahaha.

and i just discovered i'm not the only one listening to LA ROUX! rock on derrick!

okay. iCarly rocks. go watch it. Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is funny, but i think it progresses too quickly for me to enjoy or take in. haha. are they trying to grow the next generation of multi-taskers? when i think about it, it just seems like a half-hour of 5-second long skits put together. or maybe 5-second slapstick jokes chained together under a title. not to put the show down or anything, just wondering if the tv has any ulterior motives. GRR.
some colour, yes? -the computer won't let me post pictures.

I'm remarkably tired.
Goodnight people. I'll see most of you in the morning.

Don't know if I'm excited or not in going back to school. It was exhilarating but tiring. Well, just hope it's more of the joy and less of the fatigue.

Speaking of joy, JOY YOUR LEAVE WAS SO SUDDEN! haha I still have things to do with you that I can't recall at this moment. :) really hope you'll miss us but still be happy over there! Europe's an exciting place. Maybe you can grab a couple of friends and go backpacking. :P

i'm sick of this.
SHOES.



and introducing...my crush.



Astrud Gilberto - The Girl From Ipanema

ahhhh i have a huge crush on bossa nova now. my gosh. the texture. it's so beautiful! after researching for awhile, i discover that in jazz or bossa nova the voice is extremely important. i didn't like magdalene peyroux's, that's why i didn't enjoy jazz as much as i should have. =P those brazilian voices are really unique. the flavour is something i've never heard before. the dynamics are so plain...so different from american music. they can imitate, but all the greats are from south america.

respect.

MICHAEL JACKSON DIED.

something just struck me and i'm getting stressed again.

if i don't study, and will probably only get some serious studying done the next week, then i shouldn't expect great results. which means i'm only probably going to get average or below average results. which means i won't be happy.

SHIT.

I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone
Away

I can't get my mind off you.
Where you at, do you mind if i come through?

it's so frustrating and yet so blissful. you know what i'm talking about, don't you.
i don't have the aries courage, it seems.

i'm blogging from the wake. it's really quite nice here. we took up an entire church hall, because my grandad's the founding member of the community or sth. =) the people who had service this weekend had to do it in a smaller room somewhere else in this place. don't know where they could do it though, there seems to be only columbariums and niches around here.

i'm coming to terms with his passing luh. i can now talk to him normally. he doesn't really reply though. i believe he does, but i can't listen.

there have been many many flowers sent over. lemme count. about 14 full-fledged standing-up flower arrangements alr. and probably more to come. i'm happy.

i've given some thought about how my funeral is going to be.
it's gonna have three rooms, my coffin in the centre room. i think my coffin will be pink and white. and on my right will be a party room. and then on my left will be the traditional mourning hangout for the less party-people.
haha it would TOTALLY work, until my brother offered his opinion:
"but when you die, your friends will all be about the same age, how are they going to party?"

sigh. i didn't think of that.
funeral on tuesday afternoon at about 3pm.

You want somebody, just anybody
To lay their hands on your soul tonight
You want a reason to keep believin'
That someday you're gonna see the light

the time was 7.15am on a friday, 19th of June 2009.

my grandfather, Seow Kong Hoe, passed away peacefully. or as peaceful as a coma may get.

rest in peace.

i haven't been out the whole day and yet i'm so tired.

PAW.

hahaha.

ha.
ha.
ha.

I worry that there is something wrong with all our calculations..

It's guilt trip time!

Hooray for ugly marred faces!

i haven't pursued the matter since then.

no point really, until it gets dark. then it all comes back to me.

anyway i'm really happy that i filled up my week. it'll give me an incentive to study. and also give my mind a much-needed energy boost. the weekend was, in one word, kinda boring. but then again, which other weekend recently wasn't boring? haha.

what's going on with my life...nothing much actually. just waiting to see what this week will bring. tomorrow is some family day thing where i'm going to eat SASHIMI. haha. i miss it. although i don't think i can stand looking at the wasabi after what happened at the camp =D

speaking of family, my grandad's in icu now. i'm kinda really worried for him...he's got water in his lungs, it's a sudden thing. he had a heart bypass a couple of days ago. i heard it's almost 100% filled with water and he needs a respirator to breathe. it's worrying.

my mind is filled with denser thoughts. work and play balance. i know if i stay home i'll end up slacking. so might as well go out to slack...right...right...?

i'm so tired.

i just had to do that.
and you did that.
and something small led on to something big. get the hint? no of course not. not yet. relax.

If I could find you now,
Things would get better.
We could leave this town,
And run forever
I hope somewhere, somehow, we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me,
And take me away, yeah.


taken out of context, they fit perfectly.

it's the end of a very very long day. slept this morning at 3.30am. it was a stuffy night. i think i'm exhausted, dehydrated and on an adrenaline high. i just wish it would go my way but it just doesn't.

i should have seen it coming...i should have fucking known.

thank you all you happy campers for making my past two weeks so awesome. it's contraction, i know, but i really don't mean that. i appreciate so many things. i was just too tired to remember them. i still am. but i'm constantly trying. and it's a first.

there is solace in work though. tried to run away from it by reading up on twitter. no matter what people say, i now have the proper information as much as i could. and it's substantial. twitter is a waste of time and not worth the time, effort or money. all three and i mean them. i don't make claims without meaning them in some sense.

well, world. back to the hard, cold, contradictory reality of the earth.

hey!

just a quick blogpost, a snippet from my life.
before i leave for another camp! adeeb, watch out, calls galore! XD hope you're okay with it.
i'm here sending songs to my phone. just in case. which will probably happen. i won't be able to conveniently charge my ipod. hope nobody steals it too. and i hope everything will go well.

edwin's already in camp. again for the second time this holiday.
what songs should i put in my ipod?
camps always instill this sense of solitude in me.
i'm sending over songs that wrap me in their warmth.
does this mean more quiet bloodwrapped short dragged out nights?
i wonder.

i just cut my hair, the woman did it so well.
i'm really starting to dislike hair falling in my eyes. although i must say i look good with good length hair. but still. vanity is a sin.
editing my email now. too many unread emails. they clutter my inbox up. and my organisation.
if i do say so myself, i'm quite organised when it comes to the computer.
my work files are all in their proper folders and it gives me pleasure just looking at the neatness.
bipolar hor.

okay haha. i'm trying hard to make sense but i guess i'm still affected. by stuff. NO I'M NOT BEING EMO. i'm just saying. lol. =D now, i know how to get out of that secluded place. but if they're sending buses...hmm. better i guess.

re-listening to bjork's volta. very very good actually. need to give it some time again soon. =)

dammit i need to prioritise between people.

OFF TO CAMP!

gonna blog when i next get my hands on a computer there =)
see you!

zomggg I'm sickkkk! LOL I totally forgot how much I hated the feeling. Yeah felt like fucking crap in the afternoon, so much so that I took a cab back.

Hmm after a good sleep I'm back up again. Fever gone, but phlegm and slight sore throut still there. You know the kind that makes you scared of coughing it out for fear of choking? Yeah that kind. When I woke up this afternoon I literally felt my skull heating up from all those worrisome thoughts buzzing and whizzing within my skull.

I must rest well or the Sunday party will be attended by one less person and it won't be fun for everyone AT ALL.

And then there's also pre-u sem and the CLIC camp to worry about.

NEVERMIND I WILL NOT THINK OF THOSE THINGS. I WILL HAVE FUN WITH NO REGRETS!!!!

In school in front of the pt now. It's so fresh. Like the sea breeze is giving me energy. After the KI 3 period tutorial...energy drainer.

Haha there's something I noticed. I don't do very well in 1-to-1 talks. Or at least I don't extremely enjoy them cuz like I need to have an observer. Like an audience. Gah so confessional. Haha. Well. Off to do some interesting handover preparations. Will be bittersweet when this is all over.

Okay this shall just be a kinda rehash of what I have to do soon by this week and the main things on my mind now. Okay. First, I have to meet sef tmr morning. Oh and I'm feeling guilty because I spammed the IPs with messages and I kept changing the circumstance. Sigh. Okay. What else. There's my screwy PW group which hasn't gotten around to do anything that we feel safe about (or maybe it's just me). And then there's the issue of OSCHOOL BEING CLOSED tmr when I can seriously go there damn quickly from plaza sing lah!! Hmmmmm. Okay. There's lit homework that I'm totally putting off because of all this mess that's why I don't feel like doing anything. That reminds me I need to go register my iPod online. What else. Um oh yeah I wanted to run through my packing list tonight but I just didn't feel like it. Another period of valuable time wasted.

Oh and the dance handover thing is so rushed! Haha I mean. There should be an increased sense of urgency to get things done from everyone. And I'm worried my video idea will sound good when it's in writing but will feel so contrived once it's actually played out! Which I think often happen to my planned joke ideas. Pardon me if i do say so myself, but my humour is SPONTANEOUS. Gahhh. Then it leads me to this: what CAN I actually do? I mean, it's starting to sound like there's utterly nothing I can do right now to help out. Sighhhh. Okay really, enough about that. What's next on the list. Ummmm. Concentrate man. You can do this. Just not so much the tasks involved.

I need to check my list. it's becoming/become my brain. I'm totally over-relying on it. Pre-U sem is next week and i'm wondering if I'm ready or not. Fuckkk there's the 30 page reader to read in preparation for the thing! Hahaha and I'm here wasting my time.

Okay I squeezed out everything but there's still some things which are bothering me. Which includes the things I think I'm missing out from this post. And the on-screen keyboard is totally getting me irritated aside from me being worried alr. Where's one of those useful softwares when you need them.

Well I'm felling in a slightly better mood alr. Just mildly troubled. But don't worry. Things'll get better. Just like they always do for me. No one likes an "emo" post.

Nic, you haven't replied, I'm totally hoping you or someone can accompany me shopping tmr. :) i'm also hoping that parents'll let me go for the outing on freaky Friday and that we have the strength, conviction, creativity and focus to do what we have to do by then and then let me go out on Sunday whole day (well almost) for the thing which required "much effort!" from us, me not excluded. That really, despite all of this, you really must wonder how great pandora was when she released Hope to the world.

Haha well, if they can actually reply my email and tell me how to register for the courses, I definitely wouldn't mind risking it and going for the courses! Oschool! Reply me by tmr or Monday please! :) the IPs are waiting for your reply as well, and I don't wanna let them down. I don't wanna let myself down either. :P I WANNA SEE SHOHEI!!! and if course learn his moves. XD

It's a Saturday morning, I slept super early last night for a Friday night. 10.40pm I think. But hey, I was really kinda tired after watching the awesome soccer girls beat the opponents, SAJC. I must say they put up a good fight though, although no goals were scored in the second half. Congrats huang!

Slightly worried not so much about work, but for the exco planning that we have to do for the farewell party. It's quite rush, but what i'm glad about is the progress we're making as a new exco :) still have got lots to sort out though, can't all be talking and no one doing anything.

OH COME ON. KRIS?!

Wth lah is really IS a popularity contest. Seriously.

Well the history test went rather well. I'm just really glad it's over and all. The worry was starting to get on my nerves. Stuck in maths lecture now, what an irony that I'm not paying attention. Just quite fed up with the subject.

What else. Well, my blogging in school shows how I've withdrawn somewhat into my shell. And it's rather interesting because it's not all that bad, I get some time to myself and my thoughts. Which gets weird when I start to over-think things.

And sometimes I just need confirmation and affirmation that what I'm doing is right. That I have no choice but to get from others.

Sigh.

FEELING LETHARGIC!!!

GOD i feel weird.

i slept in the afternoon and now it's kinda late (in my standard) but i still feel so detached and i have this vague feeling of dizzyness. ah what the heck.
anyway it's made weirder by my being sick of my music and my itunes because i haven't found a large amount of good music in awhile. also, i've got so many things to do in my to-do-list and it's like whenever i finish something using so much of my effort another thing comes up just after it. like after doing an essay i need to print it or sth. sighh. and it's the numbers that are piling up.

okay. stress. must. handle. it. too many white hairs popping up alr, everyone's pointing them out to me. must they grow in such obvious places?

anyway, eating ice cream does help because it clears up your mind. hah. more like a good-enough distraction.
thinking/ worrying about KI essay topic, because i don't really know what to do. and i feel bad if i have to share resources with simin because that would be kinda intruding upon her ground. or something or nothing. who really thinks about this kinda thing??

oh yes today and this night is weird also because it's the season finale of gossip girl and american idol and one tree hill (almost). i'm going to watch the final ep of gg right after this blogpost. and i feel like i want a picture in the blogpost.

yeah here it is. i wish i could just lie down and forget about all the things and problems i have to do or solve right now.

haha come to think of it, sometimes when we over-think about these problems it's just us over-thinking things and nothing else. =)


ZOMG WHAT??? I CAN'T BELIEVE GOSSIP GIRL IS OVER JUST LIKE THAT! HAHAHA OMG. INCREDIBLE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM COME BACK. i didn't know chuck had that kind of sweetness in him. congrats to blair! and who's that new guy in the cafe scene with the rolling stones picture? and what's up with georgina's new extremely evil look?
I CAN'T WAIT!

Maths is going to
Kill me.

Ahhh pw is getting on my nerves. On the bright side, my dad is okay with me going to clic camp :) just have to ask my mom uh-oh. I don't really know how my group stands among the other groups, and that's getting me worried. Haha. Thank god my pw teacher is really good, she been giving us good advice.

Haha I don't really know what EOM is about. Still!

I should be doing something else rather than blogging here and now. But I can't because the stress is crushing me :( oh no. Not again. Yeah my today was generally stressed. I couldn't get much done on my history essay because I didn't know and I still don't know where to start or how to go about doing it. I think I'll go consult mr Sayers tmr, if I can. I just hope I have the discipline and it doesn't go like the last time I consulted a teacher: mr Lin kuantai.

Ugh.

It's a Saturday morning, spent the morning trying to do some work but failed as far as I can remember. Haha. Working on the tiresome history essay. there's so much reading to do but I don't really have a focus. It's always been like that for history. Just don't feel like touching work much yet. I wanna do pw but groupmates aren't responding. Need to do something social, can't really concentrate by myself now. Dunno whether tonight's dinner will be enjoyable or stressful.

Sigh so right now wondering how I'm going to get myself up to do work. Don't feel like myself leh. Have a slight idea why, but stupid of me to have ever thought so. :P

Thinking about the long run, looking forward to working with shanice closely. Seems like an amicable person. Good thing is that she has unlimited smses. Bad thing is that I'm not in enough control as I would want to be when it comes to these things. Something about the nature of this role that makes me uncomfortable too. Need to find out more from sef. Or jinghan if possible.

Have any of you ever read the watchmen?

It's school assembly and they're screening the faces of the year video which I think is kinda weird. Haha the rain this mormon is killing me, it got me so darn wet. Luckily I has this extra shirt in my bag that I used to dry off. Now it's the house comm investiture thing. Sigh.

The extremely good news is, I successfully ran for vice president in dance club!!! Okay "successfully" just doesn't cut it. I DID IT!!! Hahaha yay. Now to further my plans for works domination...LOL. I'm really really happy! It just hasn't surfaced or hit me yet. I'm working with chernise, who's the new president. Expectations on me and myself are really high. I just hope my parents will understand, and be supportive. Hope I'll live up to the previous committee! They've done such an awesome job already, it's intimidating to think about even matching up.

Currently in the class of 09a11 there are three vice presidents. Rachna, szeying and myself. And later on rachel if she's made it! :)

Forgot to tell you hit about my awesome Monday, the one with the public holiday. It was really good, we enjoyed the spoils of victory. Went kboxing and it was just really cosy hanging out with everyone. Including sef who wore this orange polo tee. Hahaha very unlike him. After that left early to buy my crazy 85 dollar t shirt!! Which was nice but it's really crazy lah. Looking forward to wearing it. It's LARGE. Met leonie and daphne and the long lost GERALDINE!! Haha the pigs ate dunno how many sushi plates lah before I came. Really fun(ny) time.

Last night was the last night that I spent as an apathetic dance club member. I am now bound by duty and honour to serve more than ever before.

Wheee blogging from school again. This is so much more interesting considering that I spend so much time in school. Hahaha. Well now I can blog from anywhere in school hooray! Hmm chionging history now, everyone's doing work at the stone tables. Going to the library later to return long overdue books and also going to get a ride down to pasir ris to replace my ez link card. :) quite waste time actually, lucky have this awesome gadget. Okay this is a very aimless post, just testing it out. Whee. Sexyback.

I'm blogging using the title of the post because blogger won't. let me type in the box. Sigh. Jelly

victory is sweeeet.

it's really interesting how you forget all the bad stuff and see only the good and the little successes on the journey there. not forgetting all the people who helped and encouraged you on your way.

i'm sitting at home on my bed for the first time with my laptop. the house is dark and quiet, i hope i don't wake my brother up. i cabbed home because it was that late, just missed the last 14 bus (i presume it was). i spent lots of painful time in the shower trying to remove this glittery sticky stuff at the corner of my face. haha. it was rather raw. but i didn't succeed and it's still there. abit of eyeliner too. i think i'll sleep it off soon.

so pumped up, can't sleep anytime soon. hope my mom doesn't wake up and catch me cuz she's so prone to doing that. lol. sleep problems.

i can't really speak in my own words now, so i'll leave you with a line from somewhere.

Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you
But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do
So say what you want
Say what you want

p.s. i think our batch of dancers are a booming bunch to work with. i'll look forward to that, and more victories like today (or should i say yesterday, because it's already 1.23am on Saturday).

it's the night before musicfest.

sorry for the long pauses before updates, but i've been really busy. song made my day when he asked me to go out. haven't spoken to him for a long long time. also, today i am especially especially really proud of my two lit essays which were done in conjunction with each other, they scored As from mr teo and i'm super proud of them and he gave me a book to go with it as well. =) i told my parents and they weren't that excited though. sighh. i've got two ulcers. what an ugly thing to say.

just went into my facebook and found 49 updates. haha. okay. well. back to my life then. see you real-life people around in school or through the phone!

HELLO! i haven't blogged in a long long time.

well, i see everyone in school so often that it's just quite unnecessary to blog. haha. and i don't think any of my new classmates visit my blog at all. hah. well if you do just tag. and i know my blog has lots of like, people who don't tag but read really often. i just wanna say a thankyou to leonie and leslie, the silent readers. strong and silent. LOL. =)

hmm dramanite went awesomely! totally loved it. it was quite an experience. i didn't forget any of my lines. hooray. and the audience went wild at gertrude, and zomg i received flowers at the end from the numerous people who went and watched the show! haha i really hope you guys had lots of fun and enjoyed it, and thank you all so much for supporting the production! and my voice is okay only lah, thanks to the people who said it was good/great/fantastic/jazzy XD

okay. you know in The Pussycat Dolls' "When I Grow Up"? do they say "YEAH" or "GEDDIT"? lol. my first impression was that they were saying YEAH. you have to really consciously listen and think "geddit" before you hear the "geddit". haha. well just a random fact.

what's coming up for me:
application for dance vice-pres! speech.
"Promiscuous" choreography
yeah that's all. hahaha. and uh, catching up on work and revision. my parents are going crazy for me to do those. trust me lah.

IPOD TOUCH!

"I don't know where to start
Say I'm tired or throw a party
These cucumber eyes are lying the more that i smile about it
And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do"



aren't the lyrics so beautiful?
the song's by Frou Frou.
the title is It's Good To Be In Love.

wheeee it's the end of the weekend.

um, today my mom was the angriest i've ever seen her. strangely enough, i was calm throughout the whole episode even though she was angry at me. i figured it wasn't a big deal, and it really wasn't. she had no right to be so upset and i guess she kinda knew it, that's why she was getting more and more upset that she was wrong. if you wanna know why, it's just cuz i didn't dry my hair dry enough today. haha. oh well. i don't have a guilty conscience about it, it feels so free. oh and she's still not talking to me. ah well it's more of a benefit i guess. although i was thinking about it in church, and really, how do you know what thoughts you think are influenced by good and what are those influenced by bad? do the distinctions even exist in the first place? and to think about it guys, do you know how much of our lives are influenced by religion? a hell lot.

um, anyway the most worrisome thing right now on my mind is the choreography. no ipod=no portable music=no time/opportunity to choreo halo! ahhh. scary.

i lost my ipod. it's still affecting me. sighh. so damn sad. and i sense my mom is growing in her unfounded worries that i'm not coping with work with all my activities. i've already been really resolute, more so than a certain tkgs girl. and i'm gonna strive to do more.

what worries me is when i'm gonna get the new one. it's tough living without one. i'm not being spoilt. i'm a music addict and i need my fix.

ERIC VAN DER WOODSEN IS BACKK~~!!

lol. and i really don't fancy that jai ho song from the slumdog millionaire soundtrack.

just now i was fuming that my computer didn't print out my essay right.

now because of my stupid contact lens my left eye feels raw cuz i've tried a few times to get the lens out. sigghhhh. sometimes when i'm grumpy i can fume at anything. ANYTHING. including how my fingers move so stupidly across the keyboard and keep getting in the way of other keys, and i have to backspace repeatedly.

okay. gossip girl still on.

I see your halo halo HALO!!!

love that song. choreographed something for it, my first ever. =)

please come for our dance competition concert! 10th april. inform me by thursday!

hooray.

well, i've decided to join the dance team for musicfest, that means i can't perform with the band. there were comments though about our audition item, and i thought that was really heartening and encouraging. but i don't have singapore idol in mind so yeah.

reading books that you're interested in is the sexxx.

yeah true. i'm reading the watchmen now. thank you asyraf, kevin, gabriel, lucas, wadee, adeeb, jq, gra, willie, leonie, darren, ashley, wanqing, gwen, simin, yazzie, and amanda. in no particular order, just the rough order found in lucas' book. =) thanks and nice quick thinking of covering the price lucas. just think if i had looked at it...*shudder*. i'm still reading the book and it is awesome. definitely worth keeping and re-reading, until i grow old. gwen, i hope you enjoyed (and are still enjoying) your birthday like me! =) 07v13 rocks. you're making me feel guilty for not buying presents XD

i am also caught up in work though, haha. <--- it's a sarcastic kind of laugh where you're not really enjoying it. although i must say, my body's consciousness is much more now. i feel like i'm able to stay up much longer on days that i don't have dance. =) hope it stays like this and keeps improving.

lots of things going on.
thursday, church.
friday, igloo gig. and photoshoot.
saturday, dance rehearsal at hougang.
sunday, ditto.
next friday, dance PERFORMANCE at hougang. must persuade people to go and sell the tix too. =) i think i'll need more tix.
dramanite rehearsals peppering over the weeks. culminating on 24th april.
choir concert. mid may.
musicfest finals, mid may.

go me.
lit trip?

THANK YOU THANK YOU.

=)

musicfest auditions!

chillax, stretch out, your life's just beginning.

no point to most of things you do.

Keane - We Might As Well Be Strangers

I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another time
We might as well

Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know

funny how you can feel so REFRESHED at almost midnight.

just to check up, i've done like half the history essay. it was a struggle, but i'm positive i can finish it tmr. definitely finish it before passing it up on time. don't wanna think about econs now. i'm chilling (like, in every sense of the word. the weather/temperature's nice and there's this comforting glow from the computer screen. best part of all, i'm being aurally pleasured as if in a live lounge right now with the script right in front. their music is great.)

haha so anyway tmr the band's meeting up for the first time and it's only like less than a week before our musicfest performance or sth. XD dunno lah. struggle on! hooray.

the mike kinda muffles your voice i think. however, recording standard, it doesn't. strange. sometimes i feel it's counterintuitive.

missed the class outing today. sad. but i hope everyone who went had fun! i mean, from the bottom of my heart. really. and i know sometimes my jokes are insensitive and inappropriate. and i realise that, cuz some situations aren't meant to be made fun of. so yeah. i know it. changing's another matter, but tell me okay.

well yeah. i kinda think that why my blogposts are so random and are kinda flowy sometimes is cuz i like to digress from the slightest idea and also that i'm very sick of writing forced essays.

it's the demons that we kill when we talk about them.

poetry is just a better or new way of expressing something. you know for the times when there aren't words to express yourself? that's a poetic moment if you use it well.
sometimes i just look down on those that make everything seem more difficult than it really is. if there are words to say it, say it. don't go in circles or curves or carwheels. get straight to the point.

thanks for leaving me alone.
yeah, thanks.

i've got so much work to do that all i can think of is work and j. and sometimes m as well. but yeah. there's just so much to do that i'm feeling more stressed now than ever this year. and that includes school days and work weeks. sigh. the week's half gone (more than that actually) and yeah. i'm moving at a snail's pace through the workload. sighhh. the history essay, i haven't even started it yet. sorry to talk about this dismal subject. but yeah i need to prioritise and exercise self-control. and that involves dragging my tired ass out to starbucks or somewhere to study. for me, it helps. but now i don't like making journeys to a place. or back, for that matter, sometimes now. haha. omg my thoughts are so convoluted.

okay yeah back to that self-control issue. i keep sidetracking. and there's just too much info on the net. it's a good thing but most of the time a bad thing as well cuz you have to sift through. i thank god for the "find" tool. but yeah, sidetracking like this is not good. cuz there's so much work i don't feel like doing it. so come to think of it, it's so paradoxical.

back to work then. peace, everyone. i hope you're not feeling as terrible as i am. ignorance is bliss, sometimes.

grr my com sucks.

it's so frustrating to have a com that countdowns your memory space. from 300+MB when you first start the com to 0. and that's without downloading any fucking thing into the com. stupid stupid glitch. i wanna buy a new mac, and when that's set up and all, i wanna rip this stupid thing into shreds. and break it. and smash it. and stomp on it. hahahaha yeah that's what i'll do. screw recycling for just this once.

umm it's gonna be exciting. cuz there's gonna be dance. one thing that really struck me was what sef said. "i don't want you guys to get sian of the dance." and that got me to think. i mean, the point of practicing is to get yourself so familiarised with the song/dance/item that you kinda practically hate it to the core and never wanna hear/do it again. but does it really have to be that way? i mean, it's kinda wrong just hating your own chosen art. might as well not do it that well, but know it and enjoy it. we're not at that level yet and most probably won't be, so don't overdo it and ruin your energy. let it sync.

poetry has many levels, and i wanna discover them. not all of them, but almost all, if possible. i feel as if i've only hit the top.

i'm scared of going to bed cuz i might not be able to sleep.
i'm scared of going to bed cuz i'm sick of sleeping today.
i'm scared of sleeping cuz i might not wake up well.

anyway i'm gonna be alone for the next couple of days. ready or not, here i come.
or, come on over baby.

okay it's time for another post. i'm calling the edusave account balance, it's very interesting to hear the woman's soulless voice over the loudspeaker of my phone. there's something very hypnotic about her voice...it's like you never ever wanna stop listening to all those static clicks and shuffles in the background of the recording. XDDD OMG STOP BEING SO RETARDEDLY ARTSY LAH MOVE ON TO THE POST.

oh yeah what i wanna say is. YO 07V13!! hello hello hello. it's so fun seeing you guys here and there in school. anyway, i'm still onto my idea of buying a new macbook. this old one looks dirty. and the software is running dry, sucks. i wish it'd stop. very irritating.

okay yeah um people don't change their organisations to VJC! so irritating! haha. today cuz got break so i walked out of school alone in the windy rain. i don't like walking in the rain when it's kinda uncomfortably cold and even with an umbrella. there's something unnerving about it. OH YES and i have to comment about the number of things going on in my life. don't you find IP gives you alot of opportunities in JC life? it's like teachers kinda know you and they push you here and there for things that are most certainly welcome. like the emcee thing THIS FRIDAY AT VJC'S VOG (very own games)! =) and the pre-u seminar. but of course there are some things born out of my actions. like DANCE<3. it's a hart. and also the lit trip. which is gonna be interesting. this first half of the year has set many traps for me, and i shan't trip and fall flat on my face on any of them. =)

are holidays supposed to cause much added stress to relationships and families?

every time i hear a phone ring i cringe and pray. well, in the lighter sense of the word.

well, i passed my napfa so far, i think the other items will be a cinch. particularly looking forward to sit and reach, can't wait to see how much my flexibility has improved.
ah today would have been extremely enjoyable in the simplest sense of the word, with pleasurable company. except for the admin stuff...which was a headache and i must've complained to tons of people and put on a long face. lol. at least got my ____________ KELLY DON'T ANYHOW SAY LAH BASKET SIA.

waiting in anticipation for the emcee results to come out. the more i think of it, the more interesting i think it'll be. got lots of interesting things happening right now. some causing more stress than others. but everything'll be worth it.

mother is the barometer of grumpiness for the family. if she's grumpy, the night's a bitch. just now her mood swung and she told me that she didn't believe me that studying in school might help. fuck you lah. fuck off. i know what i'm doing this time. at least i know better.

i'm taking solace in mood music. nothing as cryptic as múm though. something more comforting and enveloping like Madeline Peyroux and Stina Nordenstam. speaking of her, the song "The Morning Belongs To The Night" is playing on my itunes right now.

my phone beeped again.
time to jump.

zomg i can't believe how much time i wasted just by marvelling at my mac's display and colour.

and LOOKING AT NEW MACS TO BUY. zomg. it's really really beautiful. and my com's screwing up cuz i can't save any work i've done. it's fucked. wasted my time abit. but really. the mac is beautiful. i just don't want it to have this problem anymore. it's such a waste. sighhhh. you know, itunes looks positively ugly as compared to all the other sleek, sharp looking softwares of the mac.

anyway something commentable about today was that it rained perfectly after a couple of weeks/months not raining like this. it's something, today really is. and i didn't really feel sleepy during lessons. just after them. slept awhile at the stone tables while kelly went to change my songs to coldplay. they're coming, and mercury rev are opening for them. how rad is that. totally british. and yeah no dance but i feel terribly sleepy. like i started to feel super sleepy from 7.45. i think cuz it was hunger plus random things. keeping the volume low and playing slow songs now. like the pierces. well some of their songs.

GO SLEEP NOW STOP WASTING VALUABLE SLEEPING. YOU JUST WASTED ONE HOUR OF SLEEP.

LOL kevin effing funny. like wth lah XD

hahahaha hello. um there's nothing much to say. i think i'm entering musicfest. i've got two questions, one, can i enter more than one category? two, will i be able to cope?

yeah. and uh, the class blog is kinda up but still not really up yet, so i'm just putting this statement down as a reminder to myself. hah.
i've decided to forgo music for the whole of this weekend. nothing from my playlists. so yeah. haha.

um, STJTS was fun! it was fun without all the work. which made it even more fun, except for the fact that they were playing frisbee and i was so scared of getting my beautiful nose hit again. XDD food was great (everything pre-cooked) and the firestarters were very very good. we should get those lah. they look like what, cookies or sth. very very cool. good job juniors! organise again! lol.

painted the a11 AQUILA banner! it was great, but i didn't really do anything. supported shervin though, YAY. i thought your posters/ flyers/ things were AWESOME. so quirky. that's what the SC needs. quirk. well...nothing else said, time to go! looking forward to the next week. well, anything that isn't this weekend.

sorry those few sentences didn't really mean anything. i just want to touch you emotionally. and these lyrics do it. 'nuff said.

The Feeling - Strange

Cause everyone knows we're strange
So why do you feel ashamed
Baby
Everyone knows we're different
So why do you feel ashamed
We love you all the same

Nelly Furtado - Childhood Dreams

I can't believe you need me
I never thought would be needed for anything
I can't believe my shoulder would carry such important weight
As your head and your tears
I can't believe you chose me, in all my fragility, me
It hurts so much when I love you, it makes me cry
Every time

You, you are, oh you are

The little boy made for me in the stars
In the stars, that's why I can't let you go
The little boy made for me in the stars
That's why I love you more the further I go
And before this existence you were always there
Waiting for me
You are, you are the realest thing I know
Hands down
The realest thing I know

today is a rainy day.
i'm at gabriel's house with adeeb, asyraf, lucas, gra, simin and wadee. it's cool and all. i ate too many snacks in the morning so i felt full all the way. right now it's 3.20 and people still have lessons, whereas i finished at 2.30. and i dunno what to do. i do need to eat dinner though, so going for the class outing.

tiredtiredtired.
who knew sitting down and staying awake could be tiring.
i wanna dance.

hey jinghan, stay positive in the army! =) oh that ne-yo song is stuck in my head. send it over quick okay hahaha.

um yo. hahaha. i've got not much to do. but i know for a fact that last sat was the most fun saturday i had in school. no stress, nothing else but fun. haha. thanks to jieqi and amanda for keeping me company. what else what else. well weekends are generally boring. bought a couple of pairs of school shoes. shockingly i debunked dunks for something else that's similar but not dunks. sigh. i don't know why i did that, but i've got hardly any regrets cuz i like the shoes.

been doing lit research for the past couple of days. south africa is seriously interesting. and the lit lessons have been giving me a new lease of life. and i look at poetry in a more careful, thoughtful way now. thanks to ms chia who's been an awesome CT and helper and friend and teacher.

so. i downloaded this new thing that reads and records your music's bpm. each and every single track on your itunes. so for those people who run to music or who listen to music while running, it can automatically produce a playlist for your ipod, for you to run to. just fill in the bpm range and whatever customisations you wanna make to the playlist and it'll do everything else. =) the software's called TANGERINE. oh and why i downloaded it is because i needed a dance warmup playlist. sometimes the music's too fast or too slow, you know? =P

stjts on fri. that'll be interesting. super interesting. can't wait to see you guys again. 24/7 exposure to simin isn't really considered healthy.

sketch nite tonight!

like amanda says, must blog often. so here goes. =)


gonna talk about dance. it's been taking up lots of my time. but the great thing is. i love it. i love the hard parts. i adore the easy parts. i revel in my heart and soul when i get things done right. i love the criticism so much that it's making me a stronger person. "that which will not kill me, makes me stronger." or something like that. haha. yeah. it's tough listening to it. but there's always some truth in it that makes you wanna prove it wrong. amazing eh. yesyesyes. must work harder. want to at least learn some basic b-boy moves that i can string together.


well my class is improving. hahaz. with angel and mortal and all...wonder when it'll stop, i don't know. i feel something that feels like leadership impending, slowly descending on my shoulders like a dark mantle. haha. it's not THAT welcome over here. but i'm sure it'll do me some good. and passion can't be forced right? so hopefully in these 2-4 months i'll discover the light. the fire. and the VANILLA SCENTED CANDLES that simin passed to me. hahaha she bought 36. crazy sheep. mad sheep disease. okay i'm going into weird stuff again. ohhh yeah got something interesting. apparently my class (who i don't really spend time with, sigh) think that me and simin are attached. well i (kinda) violently opposed it when my friend asked. hahaha. just for the record, NO INTERST in pursuing a romantic relationship with simin. whoever's out there for her, she's all yours.


um. yeah. the future doesn't look so bleak as myself as an individual student after all. the first week...and schoolwork still interests me. i really really hope (and i WILL) keep this up. paying more attention...putting in effort...cultivating interest in subjects. it's different, JC life. very different. no classroom still affecting me even after the generous god-given stone tables. yeah. and arts and science. it's unfair to have generalisations. there are many many awesome and interesting people in science. and arts has its equal share of nerds too. who are we to judge? i mean, we don't know how people are really like. besides the awesome arts fac cheer...there's nothing much to differenciate us. =)
anyway it's the social aspect that kinda scares me. yes, i am an IP student. but with no interesting new people to spark me...life gets mild. yes, mild is calming and soothing. it comforts you when it's in you. or when you're in it. but mild, when seen from a further point of view, lacks energy. lacks life itself sometimes.


sigh and sometimes i don't see the point of KI studies. went for my first lesson today. was interesting. but the point made was so trivial that i wondered if i was missing something. maybe i was. but yeah. you get the point. or maybe not. the lecture in the afternoon was great great great though. learnt about Plato's Cave. and watched a tiny bit of the Matrix. hooray! the bad part was, i was kinda sleepy. after lunch and all. hahaha. had 6 periods straight in the morning. PE in the afternoon wasn't as bad as i expected though! mr goh was on a more funny-retarded mood, and my calves are aching right now. i EMBRACE PAIN. hahahaha.

well that's it. watched the amazing race at night. oh man. i just blabbed about the whole day!
p.s. on the amazing race, this mother-son team came in first for the first leg of the race. the most amazing thing about it was, her son was deaf. it's amazing. NO WONDER it's called the AMAZING race.
sketchnite, ahhhh.

ohhh yes. things are gonna liven up a little. gradually. but they will. =)

Cuz i'd rather spend my life pretending
than have to forget you for one whole minute.
=)

the blog's gotten quieter.

hello everyone!

happy to tell you that the first week (or so) of school has been great. not really really great like the orientation week, but fun enough. the seniors were awesome to come back and help out too. it was great. bonding with the class. speaking of the class. it's fun =) lessons are something to look forward to (except maybe math). waiting to see if everything can get better, because my standards are quite high after 07v13. love you guys, miss you so much.

og dinner tomorrow. no night cycling, but it's gonna be good. really looking forward to see the ogls again. oh yeah, pe and dance auditions tmr. tiring. hope i can survive. completing my homework most efficiently now. should be able to cope, if i continue on like this. all i'm worried about is support and friends. haha. yeah. i'm looking at you.

yanokami - Full Bloom

keep smiling. keep smiling. it's haunting you.

no time to type in a sentence.

it's bleeding time!
in time
in work
in school
in friends

today is secrets' day. i'm keeping alot and i'm dealing with alot. or at least more than usual. at least i'm controlled this time.

FUCK lah SCREW YOU hotmail you're FUCKING useless when i need you.

THOR 3 POK!

i've known you for so little and yet so long and so much. i will miss you. AHHHHHHH.
i don't know all your names.
but i'm learning.

the computer is such an irony. you wanna be alone with it and yet you want to talk to people. you don't know what to do when you're on it but you keep thinking about all the webbies that you wanna hit while you're away from it. ahhhh.
oh i'm kinda excited and afraid for tmr. it just occurred to me that school starting tmr. oh no oh yes. probably'll be sticking with the IPs for tmr. four out of the five sentences that i've typed in this semi-paragraph all end with tmr.
whee.
high and down.

amazing how we still find the time to blog eh?

tiredtiredtired. sore and tired but happy. go thor. i love thor. we rock. we crash. we thunder.
ah i hope i can go for tomorrow's dinner.
and friday's.
and saturday's.
go T3. THOR POK FOREVER.
hah that sounds lame. hooray!

it's probably my last time going through VJ orientation. must enthu! haha. unfortunately that doesn't really translate into actions sometimes.

today's CCA walkabout was fun. apart from some jerks saying that i couldn't dance. oh come on. you try it. at least i'm trying right. hmph.

loves to mervyn for saying that i'm MUSICALLY TALENTED and that my SINGING is REALLY GOOD. i blush. still uncomfortable.
also kudos to the two actors who we interviewed for cluedo today. i loved that section. actually seeing those people in the flesh really brought the game to life. heh. that was a kinda pun. (unintentional). speaking of puns, those emcees on stage should really work on their material. their jokes ah...C ah M ah I ah.

oh and the latest episode of gossip girl is really good. it's suddenly like a revival of those old insecurities that the characters had in the first season, that's what made this series such a good one in the first place. yay. and oh gosh the scandals. student-teacher relationships? ohh.

Stina Nordenstam - Parliament Square
Duffy - Distant Dreamer
The Script - The End Where I Begin

hey guys. i'm feeling sad mostly because i'm reading "farewell" dedications to people.

oh come on. this is not goodbye. you will always remember these people, even if only in name. at least in name. everything will come back, and the love is still there, if only simply deeper under all that other facts and dirt in your brain. you've loved, and there's always a part of you that is with them.

i'm going to explain a few sections of a song. its one of the few times that i'm gonna explain my posts in the post itself. i'm making sure that everyone gets it. it explains what i feel about us as a class.

Anyhow - I sat by your side, by the water
You taught me the names of the stars overhead that I wrote down in my ledger
Though all I knew of the rote universe were those pleiades loosed in December
I promised you I‘d set them to verse so I'd always remember

i think this describes that whole feeling of togetherness that we had as a class. we formed new thoughts and ideas together, being influenced by each other. the freshness of our class, the unspoken promises made to each other about life and our futures.

You came and lay a cold compress upon the mess I'm in
Threw the window wide and cried, "Amen! Amen! Amen!"
The whole world - stopped - to hear you hollering
You looked down and saw now what was happening

when we felt down, we definitely had each other for comfort. it didn't matter what others thought, as long as we stuck together and were together in spirit.

We could stand for a century
Staring
With our heads cocked
In the broad daylight at this thing
Joy
Landlocked
In bodies that don't keep
Dumbstruck with the sweetness of being
Until we don't be told
Take this
Eat this

i love this stanza. it shows the incredibleness and the largeness of our entity. of the life of the class. our love and patience and everything else poured into it willingly, without our conscious consent. it will outlive time. it is ours and at the same time not ours anymore.

if it's been forgotten has it been forgiven?

crash and burn girl.

i'm stonedd O level posting results were out today, there were mostly disappointments. it's disappointment that hits the hardest anyway. and it would have taken alot to penetrate today cuz my brain and my eyes were stoned. sigh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADEEB AND AMANDA. that was a really cool double birthday. too bad the brides in bride wars didn't have a double wedding as well hahaha. i guess ccas will be stopped or definitely affected next week. all the best cuz we have so much to deal with anyway right. i'm probably gonna go for almost everything in the orientation, it was during orientation that i made a close friend. and the one that i crashed, that one too. =) think about it. after everything when you think about it, it'll probably be one of the best times that you had in your life. the week of getting to know people, and putting yourselves though games and stuff, you'll know them really well.

i think it's time for you guys to see a poem that i've written.

okay okay i'll go and sleep.

right after this property gets sold.

wahhahahahahhahaha i have 2,589,217,000 bucks on real estate tycoon. take that, haters.

what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay?

my windows OS is down.
it's a blessing in disguise.
because we have no money to buy the leopard to update, i'm learning with the mac.

and boy, is it beautiful. it's so beautiful that i stop to wonder how i've missed out for so long.
it has everything i need.
and it does everything so beautifully.

haha. well that was a filler paragraph. just like today. it was so boring. i've got nothing to say, even though i desperately need to find things to say, just to tell people about how i'm feeling or what i wanna say or do.

okay.

well, happy chinese new year. from now on that's probably the only chinese related thing that i'm going to endure for hours at a time. =) and there's money involved. i'm the one winning.
i want a class outing.
wouldn't it be absolutely poetic and amazing if there was this person, who was always the core of our class, organising and planning things for us to enjoy, and if his or her birthday were to fall on the last day of school and us as a class, and we go out with him or her and have a hell lot of fun, and in the end it'll probably be the best and most meaningful birthday ever.

hmm i'll have to rephrase that, or you do that for me, as long as you know what i mean and think about the beauty of it.

hah i shouldn't feel BAD about it it's not even my THING.

don't you think people are such sly foxes when they say "you're so lucky to be with ________". it means either that that person's really awesome and they kinda like them or that you're actually not good enough to be with that person. haha. or maybe both. LOL. i'm overthinking things, like awesome friends adeeb and gabriel keep telling me. "STOP READING INTO THINGS LAH."

anyway there's nothing, nothing significant at all going on next friday. i don't recall any significant things happening on that day, apart from the birthdays of James LeBron, Christian Bale, Tim Jones, Gavin Rossdale, Diego Maradona, Phil Collins, Dick Cheney, Gene Hackman and Franklin Roosevelt.

HALO!!!

oh man religion religion religion. so many people are so dedicated. issit anarchist to oppose religion, which has really kept society in place (by driving in greater good values) into people? or is there really a higher authority watching over us? or am i fulfilling some pre-destined destiny simply by thinking this down? hmmm.

okay anyway i'm just really bored with today but kinda thinking about tmr. cuz of all that memorising. i'm calling tonight an early night (i.e. about 9 plus). stupid stronger mp3 file had some jerk dedicating the song to random people. to hell with that. i only recognised daft punk. i mean, will they even take notice of this. lol. at least i have jason (mrazcoughcough) whenever i want. just a simple press of a button.

LOL!!!

haha i'm just wondering whether i could've made better use of my time. and whether i should use contacts for school since i'll be using my specs the whole day but i don't wanna dirty them. haha speaking of that after school we keep crashing the juniors' class. if my seniors, let alone my effing GRAND-seniors did that, i'd get fucking cheesed off. maybe the juniors (or should i say, GRAND-juniors) already are. haha. but oh well. self-gratification. yess. i am a sinner oh and one thing about this year's IP angel-mortal exchange: they have a terrible job to go reassign seniors and juniors. haha. pray for those poor v15 people okay.

haven't picked up the guitar and played for quite a while. i wonder if i'll have the time in the future. ahhh screw this week man. quite waste of time. i mean, couldn't they have cut it shorter? some parts are really unnecessary. okay, alot of parts. that reminds me, we still haven't had our JTS. they should do it VERY SOON. like before chinese new year. right now's a good time cuz 1. their juniors are rather bonded alr after IPO 2. time is undeniably running out for us. the numero uno. the big cheese. godlike. the greatest class ever to walk the halls of VJC (okay that might be abit exaggerated), 07v13. we're not even properly recognised as a cohort or class anymore by the school. i realised this when they conveniently forgot us in the assembly notice in the concourse TV.

everything's changing
when i turn around
all out of my control
i'm a mobile

Sun down now we have built
Our place
An aviary forever

it just occurred to me when i was having a shower.

we can't run from it anymore. not to sound emo or anything, but it's really the last few days of the official existence of 07v13. we're just running from the truth sometimes and we do have to deal with it. and know that it has affected us and not just put aside the pain, because pain makes you remember.

should we talk about it? should we not? i don't know. you decide, i guess. we make memories out of memories.

so tired! yesterday was the concert. pix up in awhile, gotta get timlim to send them to me first =) i'm proud to say i took really great pics (at least when seen on the camera)!

sigh so sitting at home waiting for videos to come up. think i'm gonna sleep soon. haha. gossip girl's good, as usual. although the backstabbing this time round was really harsh.

so yeah. live your life, be happy. thank you katie white and jules de martino.

fuck lah poker keep losing not fun lah.

fuck those rich bastards.
fuck those assholes.

Tell me, tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible

hello! back from the chalet!

BEST. VIDEO. EVER.
Jumping Jacks fucking funny!

chuck is going insane?

wow.
hot.

for those who haven't watched it yet, here's a really really good link with excellent sound and video (i.e. no fucking huge pixels!)

haha it's a good episode, just like any other. but here's the thing. serena dumped aaron. =)))
and we finally see eric.

see you at the chalet!

pure CLASS. in fact, one of the classics of dance/trip-hop/house/acid jazz music. hmm. see how her hair swishes.

Moloko - The Time Is Now


and finally, this is just for me.



it's night and i'm tired.
fingers are aching to type to my speed. lol. must be this morning. andy killed us all. yet again. and today's one was slack. slept in the afternoon, must've been the turns that killed me. i still (i'm not kidding) have a headache from this morning's practice. sigh. i think it's the balance in my ears. that's why it's such a sacrifice for me to wear headphones. screws up my sense of balance and any small thing can give me a headache, but it's so totally worth the far superior sound quality compared to *coughearphonescough*

paris pics. abit random, i know. but since i have the opportunity.

mother and brother. we were at the original marche restaurant. we sat outside, really cold but the food warmed us up. and pity but i don't have the other pic where we took in the view around us. snow mountains. really close. =)

it's not that paris looks really depressing in this pic, but it was raining/snowing. so the snow came down in wet bits. haha. the arc de triomphe is behind us. it's where napoleon put up the 150+ victories that he had around europe. showoff.

my parents at the louvre. no cameras actually. oops. =P the picture looks good, even with those two in the pic. AHHH MY MOM'S LISTENING TO DAVID COOK WAIT LET ME GET MY HEADPHONES.

camwhore.

haha well. he insisted that he wanted to wear the bear hat he got in korea. so there. he seriously wore it for the whole trip. i love my bro.


eh minus 11 okay. and it was minus 16 when my dad took off everything on his top. sigh.

friday with timlimqing.
disney keychain - $30 wtf.
movie, popcorn - $16.50
Pastamania dinner - $10
doublealbum - $29

THE TING TINGS CONCERT TIX - $53

i am a big spender.

jinghan, stay positive for the army! =)

beautiful lyrics.

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't' be that far
So I'm driving in my car
Where I hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
And try to open up your eyes
This is relationship suicide

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decide
It's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try to take it back
Before it all went wrong

But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his
With her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these years

hey my loves.

you will NOT believe that this sound quality is from youtube.

KELLY CLARKSON - Since U Been Gone