hey i'm back!

i've seen so many people, and i can say that everyone is different.

you are your own yardstick, wherever you want to take yourself.

i brought my beloved poetry books (my first two book purchases! so exciting!) to the trip with me. haha. they got me quite stressed out because of the contents and the poetry. but well. i think a quote to wrap up the year and usher in the new year is nice, right? so here's one. actually i've got alot but i keep forgetting them so i'm going to find one now. here it is.

Melts in the wall.
And I
Am the arrow,

The dew that flies,
Suicidal, at one with the drive
Into the red

Eye, the cauldron of morning.

-From "Ariel" by Sylvia Plath
you know what. i don't really like it. i'll find another one if i remember, later. but please, do enjoy this one. it's cool.

AND HERE IS DUG!!! omg i love him. so cute.



don't you feel alone?
i do.
just hang on for another year.

Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce - Telephone



[Lady Gaga]
Hello, hello, baby
You called, I cant hear a thing.
I have got no service
in the club, you see, see
Wha-Wha-What did you say, huh?
youre breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you,
Im kinda busy.

K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you, Im kinda busy.

Just a second,
its my favorite song theyre gonna play
And I cannot text you with
a drink in my hand, eh?
You shoulda made some plans with me,
you knew that I was free.
And now you wont stop calling me;
Im kinda busy.

Stop callin, stop callin,
I dont wanna think anymore!
I got my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin, stop callin,
I dont wanna talk anymore!
I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Im busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want,
but theres no one home,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!
Cuz Im out in the club,
and Im sippin that bubb,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!

Call when you want,
but theres no one home,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!
Out in the club,
and Im sippin that bubb,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!

[Beyonce]
Boy, the way you blowin up my phone
wont make me leave no faster.
Put my coat on faster,
leave my girls no faster.
I shoulda left my phone at home,
cuz this is a disaster!
Callin like a collector -
sorry, I cannot answer!

Not that I dont like you,
Im just at a party.
And I am sick and tired
of my phone r-ringing.
Sometimes I feel like
I live in Grand Central Station.
Tonight Im not takin no calls,
cause Ill be dancin.

Cause Ill be dancin
Cause Ill be dancin
Tonight Im not takin no calls, cause Ill be dancin!

Stop callin, stop callin,
I dont wanna think anymore!
I got my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin, stop callin,
I dont wanna talk anymore!
I got my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Stop callin, stop callin,
I dont wanna think anymore!
I got my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin, stop callin,
I dont wanna talk anymore!
I got my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin me
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Im busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want,
but theres no one home,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!
Cuz Im out in the club,
and Im sippin that bubb,
and you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Call when you want,
but theres no one home,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!
Cuz Im out in the club,
and Im sippin that bubb,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!

My telephone!
M-m-my telephone!
Cuz Im out in the club,
and Im sippin that bubb,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!

My telephone!
M-m-my telephone!
Cuz Im out in the club,
and Im sippin that bubb,
and youre not gonna reach my telephone!

Were sorry the number you have reached is not in service at this time.
Please check the number, or try your call again.

yes, i'm leaving for egypt tmr. get it? the song? okay.

bye bye.

life should be
simple.

fuck yeah, baby.

The Dead Weather - I Cut Like A Buffalo



this is what i'm talking about.

it's a question of normalcy.

what's normal in other countries isn't normal here.
what's normal here isn't normal in other countries.

that's why our laws are different, too.
that's why people move.

Owl City - Fireflies



Lady Gaga - Beautiful Dirty Rich



would just like to share a poem with you guys.

A man said to the universe:
"Sir I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."

Stephen Crane, "A man said to the universe:"

you know, i've been conditioned to hear the changes of the production of a song beneath the surface.
give me a bit of time, and i'll be able to tell you what exactly changed.

this song is different from my ipod's version.

slower tempo, more bass accompaniment, backing vocals upped, lead vocals volume lowered and more blending in with the backing, with possible re-recording for the video, less bass drum, synth "bells" increased.

btw, my personal opinion is that La Roux is the new-age electronica for popular music.

La Roux - I'm Not Your Toy

they leave so young.

R.I.P. Christoper Miles.

now my life seems uncertain.

"let's just start this life, shall we?"

"fuck the future, dude."


you know what.

the thing is, they've got their own culture.

and it's so immersive, i feel like swimming in it.

we don't. am i jealous, or what?

we can't just create our own culture. we can't.

and it's no use trying to justify what we lack.

i just wanna be there so bad, but i know it won't be the same.

and i won't be happy.

oh, the liberation and fear to be freed from play counts.

this is probably what the soul of communism probably feels like. freed from freedom.

well. that was off on a tangent.

i was discussing with my mom, arguing, rather, that the depression in female poets is actually a "productive" thing. i still think it is. it's so strongly channelled that when they put it down on paper you actually still feel it after so many years because of the intensity and the extent of perfection that it reached at the moment of writing/finalising.

that said, it's incredibly tough to read poetry. first book: American poetry after the civil war. NOT a good idea. but hey, there are a couple of good things i've seen in there. Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath. very overused, but there's a good reason to that.

my fucking com suddenly froze for a few seconds there. i think i better fucking publishi this before this fucking piece of junk screws my writing up.

just like a poet's life.

Somethin' - filled up - my heart - with nothin' - someone - told me
not to cry. - but now that - i'm older - my heart's - colder - and i
can - see that it's a lie.
children - wake up - hold your - mistake up - before they - turn the
summer into dust. - if the children - don't grow up - our bodies get
bigger but our - hearts get torn up - we're just - a million little
gods causing rain storms - turning every good thing to rust. - i guess
we'll just have to adjust.
with my lighning bolts a-glowin' i can see where i am going to be when
the reaper he reaches and touches my hand.
with my lighning bolts a-glowin' i can see where i am goin'.
better look out below!

Arcade Fire - Wake Up

after nearly 2 years. the beauty of the song.

IT'S PARTY UP IN THE U.S.A!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

my god. she's seriously something. i don't know what to think of her.

okay. something melding Ashley Tisdale and Lady Gaga.

god, she even looks like both of them combined!

Ke$ha - Tik Tok



i believe music has something to do with the society it's from. right now, notice that electronic "party" music influenced slightly by house is considered good material for pop. Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Miley Cyrus, all more hardcore before these recent years. now that Obama has gone into office, Hiphop, which is commonly associated with the Blacks, has taken the backseat, although its influences are still felt. i believe it has something to do with the current economic situation, where people are looking for an outlet or a way to suspend their lives in whatever way they can. and yes, i think that it's been channeled through youth to influence the state of popular music now.

I have a crush on skins. i feel like watching it, but teen dramas are very time consuming. especially with big bang theory and gossip girl breathing down my neck. oh but the big plus is that it's filled with really really really good looking people.