just finished watching episode 7 of gossip girl.
hah.
i could just spoil it for so many people.
but i shan't. =)

hmmm i've never thought about it but this is the last working week in the IP for me.
oh man.
i feel so sad now.
I'LL MISS YOU GUYS TOTALLY.
like everyone. (almost)

gah even though i don't want to, i'll get started on my thankyous. only to the 07v13ians who read my blog of course.
just hope i don't start tearing by the end.
anyway you guys won't be able to see it =P

in alphabetical order,
ADEEB.
for being such an awesome person. who tolerates me and listens so much and lets me talk for the both of us. for letting me be such a sick bigot at times =) for introducing black music and plays and for being a push factor for me. for not pushing your perfectly respectable theatre views on me. it wouldn't have worked anyway heh i think. please don't try. for letting me talk complete nonsense in front of him without walking away. who kept my dream of writing in music alive. thank you.

AMANDA.
you might be reading this, you might not be. for all the good times we had. for being the nodder while i was the talker. for furthering my random conversations. for looking at me oddly when i twisted my words to form incomprehensible utterings. for being and enduring chinese with me. for having such an unexplainable aura of peace around you. the save point of my school life. really. it's so amazing this gift that you have. use it well. yes, sweeney todd is hot. =) thank you.

ASYRAF.
for being such an ego. ugh. but it's a good ugh. for talking well. for making up silly things. for laughing at my jokes. for being such a good sport. for just being you. =) for ALWAYS OPPOSING ME WHEN SERENA ROCKS COMPARED TO BLAIR. oops. hah it's the final say anyway cuz this is my blog and i'll ignore whatever you put on the tagboard. for putting up with the short jokes. they're not actually jokes, they're true. for wearing that really nice uncreased blue sweater today in the freezing LT. for your really cool parents and family. =P thank you.

GABRIEL.
for being there for me. for me being there for you. for being such an awesome friend. for forever being the only other person loving bjork. for being open-minded. for putting up with my off-beatness. for confiding. for being a soccerboy. for everything that i've remembered but forgotten. thanks for being "an island in a floating sea of diarrhoea" - Jason Mraz. may you need me and may i be there for you. and vice versa. may you brush up on your popular culture references. take a page out of Asyraf's book. thank you.

GRACILIA.
for knowing you. for opening up my eyes to a whole new brand of girl power. for listening. for being. for naming your bat thing. for your strong encouragement. do you know the nameless, silent, encompassing essence of the v13 girls? it has a name now. its name is gracilia wong.
thank you. =)

KEVIN.
for being a doofus. for remaining secretly grounded amid the whirling chaos around you. for your new blue specs (i like!). for guiding us and always being there in your usual reliable self to egg on the slower birds. for being the only quiet one in the group. =) thank you.

LEONIE.
for secretly reading my blog. for being an awesome friend. for making me never ever forget you. for being friends with daphne. for being the captain in every way. for your encouragement. for your openness. for your sick-ness. for your advice and care and support. your closest match in gossip girl would be blair. really. with or without the sex drive. =) thank you.

LUCAS.
for being the palette of the art of 07v13. for your never-ending generosity and care. for your hard work and drive for the class. for your funky accent. for your brother with the awesome name. for your seemingly inexhaustible energy for each and every single person in the class. i know cuz i've experienced it before. it's a feeling i'll never forget. thank you.

NORMAN.
i know he'll never read this but i'll put this up anyway. NORMAN YOU SUCK. but in a really good way. you're a really natural leader. a leader has to suck sometimes. you do all the time. that's why i can safely say that we love you very much. i'm appealing to that speck of humanity inside you. don't dabble in stocks too much. you'll lose. for warming up to me only very recently, thank you. =)

SHERMAINE.
for being in the unbearable chinese class with me. for keeping your hair like that. XD for being distinctively french. for laughing along. for singing along. for dancing along. for giving me the spirit in words. for being so friggin imba in chinese. thank you. =)

SIMIN.
for being sweetly convoluted. for blabbering your inane thoughts out loud. for being a pillar of support. for being the drifting cloud. like sheeps' wool. for laughing without any reason. we both love the cripple button and we will one day meet up just to discuss that joke. or just laugh. and we shall get everyone else to admit that it's FUNNY, because it really is. for being remembered when i was deciding to go to the arts stream. ironically, you keep me grounded despite the logical confusion that you are. thank you.

WADEE.
for being the resident unintentional pervert of the class. for taking all our jokes in your stride. for putting up with us immature brats. for being born in the year B.C. 43654765. for your personality. for your terrible german (i'm sorry, i'm still getting used to it!). for tying the class together with strong fragile pink and green ribbons. for those bus rides. for drama-ing like crazy with those korean things. thank you.

XIANHUI.
for not posting in your blog anymore. i still go there in the hope that i can see more pics of you camwhoring big time. =) for also being in chinese class with me. for emitting sparks at random points in my life. for JON. =) i'll never get over that i swear. for knowing you. for the awesome fun it is being with you. for your bangs. for all the genuine laughter. =D thank you.

YASMIN.
for supporting david archuleta ALL THE WAY. yeah go david eh! for smiling. for your yellow Theodore hearts. for leaving those yellow Theodore hearts stuck in my head because they're just so...weird. for being with me for almost every single hardworkproject. for being the glue. for being so sparkly and shiny everyday. for all the IP experiences i've had with you. it's been so long and yet so damn short. thank you! smiles for you. =)))))))))))))))))DDD)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)D)DDD)D))D)D)D)DPPPPPP)DPD)DPD)DPD)DPD)DPD)DPD)DPD)DPD)DD)D)PDD)DPD)DPD)DPD)D

it's hard to let go, guys.
it's hard.
but thank you so much.
i don't feel like leaving now.
not now.

you know that thing about your insecurities creeping up on you?

it's true.

no thanks to the people who're supposed to be one of the closest to me.
and stand by me.
and not put me down for the wrong reasons.

Turn out the light
And what are you left with?
Open up my hands
And find out they're empty.
Press my face to the ground
I've gotta find a reason.
Just scratching around
For something to believe in;
Something to believe in.

The Cardigans - Don't Blame Your Daughter (Diamonds)
can you help me out with this song?
i don't know what it means but it's just this connection that i feel with it that's keeping me from thinking away.


And the song you sing today
Wasn't always in your head
The words you try to say
Are the ones you should've said
They're glistening like diamonds
Go out and find them
But don't blame your daughter

Read me your tombstone
Tell me you're sorry
Fax me your will
You owe me something still
Blood is like water
The bath that you poured me
Has drained and is gone
Don't blame it on your son

dammit.
chuck bass is growing on me.
just watch the interview! so deep!
his accent is like really really unexpected.

Ed Westwick Interview


"I'm Chuck Bass."




"If you thought that was long, you don't know what you're in for."
DAMN, CHUCK BASS!!

"You made your bet, now you have to lie in it."
fuck that's the best line so far. it's actually POETIC.
damn. gossip girl as an inspiration for poetry.
hmmm ERIC IS BACK!!! WITH A BF!!! hahaha. =) happy, happy day. and did he get better looking?! he seems to be.
poor vanessa though. she keeps getting hurt by the different guys in the show. first dan, then nate, then chuck. gah. i wonder who's next in line now that they've used up all three. please don't let it be eric he's seriously not THAT repulsive.

still getting used to the fact that chuck actually has a heart somewhere in there.
nate and dan, what a beautiful bromance.

finally, something i found on Charissa's blog.
phenomenal.

George Sampson

what's up.
i can't explain the peace i felt yesterday. must've been something to do with the God i call God.
thank you everyone for being there for me in all your ways, big or small. i'm starting to experience you really greatly.
um, nothing much is going on in my life right now i guess. at least nothing i can immediately think of in this semi-comatose state at home.
i kept wanting to write poems but i ended up forgetting anyway.
=)
i really want to though.
hahh.

thank you all again for making me feel alive.
it's something i will definitely not forget.
the song below is a godsend.
it helps me say the things that i can't express right now.

The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony


Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

nuke forever.

Kylie Minogue - In My Arms



Hercules And Love Affair - Blind

I love you more
I love you more
I don't know what I knew before
But now I know I wanna win the war

No one likes to take a test
Sometimes you know more is less
Put your weight against the door
Kick drum on the basement floor
Stranded in a fog of words
Loved him like a winter bird
On my head the water pours
Gulf stream through the open door
Fly away
Fly away to what you want to make

okay, i can't help if i'm being stupid, or childish, or whatever.
but i'm seriously thinking too much and you can't deny however much i think that tonight has made me think.

and it's not good thinking.
and perhaps i shouldn't even think about it but not thinking about it is what got me into this shit in the first place.
maybe i'm feeling too much and thinking too much.
maybe this whole thing is just an indirect ploy to seek attention.
and i think i need it.
how stupid, dumb and whatever. but i can't help it.

gah.
someone take me away in a straitjacket please.
at least for awhile.

this is how it's supposed to look like.



i'm sick of feeling tired.
someone take me out.

i feel lethargic.
let me try to break it down.
i feel tired, drained, exhausted, dehydrated, passionless, sleepy, and numb.
i need something to set me on fire again.

sorry music right now i don't think you can help.

am i not rewarding myself enough?
am i stressing myself out on random, careless things that i should or should not be doing?
i really don't know.

My office glows all night long,
It's a nuclear show and the stars are gone
Elevator, elevator, take me home

Don't go. Say you'll stay
Spend a lazy Sunday in my arms
I won't take anything away

The night starts here, the night starts here
Forget your name, forget your fear
The night starts here, the night starts here
Forget your name, forget your fear

The ecstasy, the being free
A big black cloud over you and me
And after that, the upwards fall
And worry angels after all

The scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

Take me, take me to the riot.

dance practice was tiring as usual. but fun =) joel's a very nice person hahaha.
i must not touch my face right after dancing and instead wash my hands before i do anything with them (including touching my face).
lol.

anyway after that had dinner with jj and kashish. JJ YOU'RE AS SICK AS EVER. which is a good thing. kashish don't shake your head, you definitely enjoyed the sick parts. =P funfunfun. thank you guys.

i think i'm mildly hedonistic.

oh today was great and i felt really tired but i think it's because of something that i don't really know. can't put my finger on it yet. and i'm typing because my fingers feel good on the keyboard. luke and noah are like the best lah i'm looking forward to watching them more than gossip girl. stupid 1-week break thing, i bet they lost tons of viewers because of that. it's the HYPE, stupid.

so right now all i can think about is going to sleep. this hasn't been a very fulfilling blogpost. i shall end off with a video that Pharrell is in. which is great of couse.

Madonna - Give It 2 Me


and i can't find a version of "Everyone Nose" by N*E*R*D. sigh. nvm i'll sing it. ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM.

i need some colour in my blogposts, my world and my life.

it's so weird but i find i only post on near-alternate days. hmm.

today was super cool went visiting! asyraf's house, adeeb's house, then yazzie's house! hahaha it was a really fun day. choc-full of wii thingies and FOOD. ah chicken wings and pizzas and icecream. =) toomuchtoomuch. conditioning next wednesday hahahaha YAY.

i must be totally crazy.

neeways after that went to the cathay to meet d. so glad for you guys. makes me wanna go all out and get someone too XDDD treated me to dinner (zomg i still feel bad) and the takeaway chicken wing =P the food was really good and sorry for 1. being so late 2. not paying 3. not eating much hahahaha. after that smelled the smoky air and tasted the musty blinks of the city abstracts. thanks so much for the dinner and the night.

please listen. really moving song. i don't know what it is about them but Stars always makes me wanna cry.

Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead



When there is nothing to burn
You have to set yourself on fire.

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

it's 1am and i didn't sleep in the afternoon yesterday so now i'm like tired but kept awake by the adrenaline rush from dance practice.

hmmm my awesomeness friend the mysterious mr d is helping me with ________ =) thank you a bunches! without you i seriously wouldn't have even tried. hahahahaha.

so neeways wish me luck tomorrow for that presentation thingy. dance is fun. it's like that status quo song in high school musical except without the singing and the gabriella and the cheese fries and sharpay.

whatthehell.

hah adeeb you don't have to support anything cuz it's DONE.
in the same night that i posted the post.

ohmyfuckinggod. =)

so many things going through my head right now.
btw, NOAH OMG WILL YOU PLEASE GET ON WITH IT ALREADY AND FACE IT! I MEAN, I JUST DID. YOU SHOULD TOO. AND NOT WAIT UNTIL ANY MORE EPISODES. GOD. =))) GO LUKE. HANG IN THERE.

it's amazing how time can pass so quickly and in a moment, you're shocked that you spent and hour and a half just watching the drama unfold. ah i am happy. i really am. i've got so many other things to do and/or worry about but right now it's time to suspend my life and my disbelief and accept everything that's going on on the computer screen. and keep living it like a drug.

yesyesyseysyeyseyesyysyeyseysyeeysyeeysyesyeyesyseyeysyesyesyeyseyseyeysyeeseyeysyes!!!

my worries are keeping me awake every night.

how i'm going to start.
how i'm going to break the news.
how i'm going to handle the pressure.
how i'm going to be after the repeated failings and the routines.
how i'm going to be in the group.

how all this might keep me from enjoying myself.

i'm just very scared.
i can't even do that first step.
i've done the pre-steps, now is just the execution.
then the follow through.
i really hope i haven't made the wrong decision or anything because i still feel so strongly about it, it's just that all these things are making me wonder and doubt.
and they're winning.

(but not for long, i hope)

i'm listening to this right now.
tell me what you think.

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

it's a friday. watched eagle eye. VERY FUN MOVIE. the action scenes will actually make you tired. =) an experience like no other. and no cheap thrills either. love it.

Joanna Newsom - Sprout And The Bean



i really enjoy this song. just watch how her fingers crawl over the strings like very skilled spiders. the song was used in a horror movie...i don't know whether to be happy or upset about it. it's just too beautiful to be abused like that.
spotted. g listening to joanna newsom. careful, g, this might be too out of your dumb botak head playlist. (daughtry)

BJORK'S NEW VIDEO IS OUT. it's not as good as "Declare Independence" though. but worth a watch. there are three distinct segments...i liked the first one the most.

Bjork feat. Antony Hegarty - The Dull Flame Of Desire

yes oh yes i'm finally blogging on my mac! =)
that means finally i'm gonna have some pictures that i have taken in the past months throughout my life as an IP2.
heh NOT.

oh so that day we went to marina for some weird reason...i think it was like seoul garden or something. yeah and took a look at the famous puma changing rooms...and we needed an excuse to walk into those rooms so i had a look around for interesting stuff.

WHO KNEW THERE WERE NON-HALAL SHOES!!! or, as jieqi would have put it, HALAR. well done jq, well done.

seeing that i already have a mat gang from GO, why not show you some of my mat friends? this is firdaus. i think. as you can see, he has a serious case of lockjaw. and his head is too big... OH WAIT, it's the floating cap style. yeah. KOOL SIA.

went somewhere else...and found this.

mr lee must probably shop at this place. doesn't it just look like him??? that shows he's actually pulling off the look really really well.

the F1!

just look at the car zooming past. it's a friggin blur. i do have more pictures but they're all like that. and THE NOISE. omg. indescribable. really.

"dude, that guy was staring at my crotch."

i don't really know why i took this picture. so weird. i mean. just look at it.

finally, my dog. awesomely adorable. better than any pom (which can be found on streets). RATS.



i'm also very glad to say that i have rediscovered my passion for music. through the guitar. thank you music god, whoever you are.

and ohshit i think i made a mistake in my t3a. should've replaced something with something else. argh. =(