which begs the question, does self-awareness or consciousness ever bring catharsis?
i've decided to be forcefully poetic in this post, you see.
it's all in order to get rid of my frustration (catharsis) of being kept.
which leads me to say, i have a gem within my mouth.
and we're doing Top Girls right now. and i dislike Isabella Bird very much. but i don't disagree with her. i'm feeling her unconscious self-induced sickness right now.
i could be out this whole week doing fulfilling and energetic things which are exciting. but suddenly the drive has been sucked out of me, trust me i didn't go down without a fight. and lately, it's just spiralling into this big mess over and over again with me getting frustrated and then losing energy over it and then getting back frustrated about it. it's not gonna help, i know. but i don't have the energy to get out of it!
and it doesn't help that things have happened in this short time. energy can come from emotion. well, emotion happened. already.
lol. not so poetic after all! sigh. i mean, what was i expecting. a spontaneous outpouring of emotion, like one of those famous poets said? lol. hard to believe. construction does not entail closely-followed words, worded carefully with much construction.