"No."

"But...listen, you've just been saying life is meaningless, so how can...?"

"I changed my mind."

"But...why?"

"Thermodynamic miracles...events with odds against so astronomical they're effectively impossible, like oxygen spontaneously becoming gold. I long to observe such a thing."

"And yet, in each human coupling, a thousand million sperm vie for a single egg. Multiply those odds by countless generations, against the odds of your ancestors being alive; meeting; siring this precise son; that exact daughter..."

"...until your mother loves a man she has every reason to hate, and of that union, of the thousand million children competing for fertilization, it was you, only you, that emerged."

"To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold...

that is the crowning unlikelihood."

"The thermodynamic miracle."

"But...if me, my birth, if that's a thermodynamic miracle...I mean, you could say that about anybody in the world!"

"Yes."

"Anybody in the world."

"But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget...

I forget."

"We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take the breath away."

"Come...dry your eyes, for you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg; the clay in which the forces that shape all things leave their fingerprints most clearly."

"Dry your eyes..."

"...and let's go home."

conversation between Doctor Manhattan and Laurie Juspeczyk, from "Watchmen".

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and run away, yeah
I just wanna fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and run away, yeah

wow.

the first couple of days of school are over.

and i'm NOT looking forward to the stress.

i can already feel it in my bones, the things that're gonna come that'll make my mind rattle and my brain ache and my heart dead.

wow so melodramatic.

yeah but something like that lah, i just know how to put it in words because that's probably what i'll feel soon. sigh.

yeah but we'll look back and think "wow, what amazing times we had. the fun of this stress."

or maybe not. married adults i know still have nightmares about their A levels. coupled with concert in term 2, i don't know how to juggle my priorities any more.

well the main dampener tonight is that i just found out that i'll have to not sleep in on weekends (saturdays) in order to attend practice. gah 8.30 to 10.30 is really early. blame it on me on not planning my steps well, but the small, very small comfort is that it's only for 6 weeks or so. which is a month and a half. after that...well it's all over. one focus and one focus only, which can really take its toll.

i mean, being older sucks. what fun is growing old, when you don't have the increased amount of happiness to deal with the increased amount of stress? whatever we have, we have to work for it. and maybe sometimes, just sometimes, it can be abit too much.

yeah. so that's my two cents on what occurred to me today in the bus in the morning. it's 10.45pm on the computer clock. waking up early tmr to attend yet another meeting.

six weeks, six weeks. somehow it just seems so far away. and then time will pull the rug from under you once again, like how it did for almost the whole of last year.

i'll move forward, we all have to. it's just the thought of leaving things behind that's terrifying. just sometimes.

don't you sometimes wish you could disappear into that world of your wallpaper?

it's the fucking last night.

go down with a bang!

timo~

today's birthday celebration was fantastic. =)

sorry to those who didn't come.

for those who did, we were brilliant.

thank you all.

=)

(two smileys! wow!)

i've been bumming around doing absolutely nothing, just on the com and the ps3. =)

Are you satisfied?

With an average life?

Do I need to lie to make my way in life?

Are you satisfied?

With an easy ride?

Once you cross the line will you be satisfied?

my new sudden obsession.

Kate Havnevik - Unlike Me

this is a terrifying song. not for the faint hearted who listen to black metal.

okay, so just an update about my day.

i spent the last two days almost completely at home. haha. even the dog went out more often than me. hmm i went out for tuition today, the path to the bus stop seemed so quaint and unfamiliar. maybe because i was super spaced out on the computer and ps non stop, ever since i got FINAL FANTASY XIII omg it's superb, the battle sequences are really smooth. for those players out there, USE THE PARADIGM SHIFTS. learn how to use them well and transition and understand how to use them, and they'll definitely reward you. one of the most entertaining battle systems i've seen close to beating kingdom hearts. hard to tell right now.

anyway, yeah. i went through some extra dance stuff (not even completing what i had to do, and besides, totally forgetting about my studies, which have been nagging me especially that h3 that i promised i'd spend some of the hols to do. i'll get to that soon enough, maybe on thursday with my free day and a friend studying to give me that extra push), and i found that the ticketing had quite a few screwups! lucky i went through them because this is an outlet that we're dealing with the public in, and because we're handling their money, this area we have to be extra careful. plus, i reorganised the whole sheet and now i think it'll be ready for mass ticketing release soon. thank god when the pre-orders are finally settled. it's such a headache, i must admit ashes gave me a really good idea, but it was abit too late in using it. thanks ashes!

hmm. okay i had alot to say. it's just fun typing on the keyboard, i like the springy clicky feeling HAHAHA really. oh yeah, i'm really upset and i'm seriously still reeling from a couple days ago, when i finished watching Season 4 Episode 7 of Skins, which featured Effy. omg i won't spoil it for those of you who haven't watched it yet, but i'm really upset! i mean, the ending was fucking shocking, i still can't believe it happened! i can't believe it! it seemed so unreal but as i think about it, it kinda was expected. i just didn't expect it! and i still can't accept the fact. i'll wait till the next episode's out on the internet next week...before that, i can't say for certain. not till i see it. gosh. RIP Chris Miles.

on a happier note, i picked up 4 albums within two weeks. i bought Taylor Swift's "Fearless" first, followed by Florence and the Machine's "Lungs". oh, a couple weeks before that i bought Owl City's "Ocean Eyes", and Mew's "No More Stories". still haven't finished listening to those two properly yet, like sit down or lie down and close/open my eyes and really hear the music. how often do you do that?

yeah, anyway, this week i picked up "The Family Jewels" by up-and-coming star Marina and the Diamonds, and also Fleet Foxes' self-titled album. they're fantastic. the thing that really bugs me though, is that Singapore is so slow in importing interesting albums like The Concretes and especially, Joanna Newsom's new 3-cd LP, "Have One On Me". sigh. still waiting, i asked the sales person at hmv (HMV, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!) and she said the import date wasn't even listed in the database. =(

i guess more waiting. but right now, new things to do and new things to see and feel.

listening to the Fleet Foxes' album backwards. how strange, you think. well, going to watch alice in wonderland soon enough. soon.

it's the first time i'm using my new com to post a blogpost!

hmm. i don't have a mouse.

but the com's brilliant. it's fat, it's big, and it's expansive.

not to mention the colours are sweet, and the clarity. i don't think i've seen or so personally touched a computer so vibrant before.

=)

happy world.

love the bargaining. i felt so powerful.

5 adjectives to describe each song:

Wondrous
Grooving
Thunderous
Electronic
Pulsating

Dan Black - U + Me =



Walk a million invisible lines!

Sombre
Upbeat
Tantalizing
Inward
Mesmerizing

The Courteeners - You Overdid It Doll



Heartfelt
Lyrical
Soulful
Uplifting
Sensual

Jon McLaughlin - Beautiful Disaster



jon mclaughlin oozes sex appeal. be it in his voice, or his looks.

breathe.

it's here.







I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain