hello everyone.
i guess the mask still hasnt come off yet.
but im comfortable now.


take it one step at a time.
and pray hard. pray real hard for me.

what a weird day! pleasantly weird.

i seriously dunno what to say now...

saving your convos without asking is violation of privacy rights! i think.

WE ARE NOT TOGETHER IN ANY WAY. well, except as friends.
thank you.
looking forward to tmr...hope you dont chicken out...but i think you will, youve always been a selfish coward. XP

i wish it was raining
cuz i hate every beautiful day.
-- Sugarcult "Hate Every Beautiful Day"

i have fantastical mood swings i tell you.

1. saw something and got so pissed that i yelled into class. then slammed the door real hard.
2. went back to work and screamed at the lit paper.
3. felt so happy when edmund told me stuff.
4. got so frustrated that my shirt was sticking out at a very very weird angle, making me look weird.
5. got pissed that there were people under my block going to take the same lift as me.


i need my ipod.

you know, i suddenly taste blood in my mouth. lol.
i realise i need closure. leaving without saying goodbye is a nono.

AAAHHH you know what happened today? rachel said my eyes looked really goth if i took my spectacles off. =)))
I SHALL GET CONTACTS. haha.

ms low's bio lesson was UGH.
but fun anyways =)
chem was bearable...stories are a good way to lighten up the mood.
just cannot use it too often haha.

WHY i so BO LIAO ah follow yuhan and cynthia ALL THE WAY to TKGS?? but the donuts were SO GREAT. guess it was worth it after all...burning all the fats...its uber amazing that i actually walked all that way. hidden talent.

EGO.

still patching up. sewing little white threads through the fabric. they will hopefully change colour. but its still nice in a weird detached sort of way. =)

im feeling quite tired and hungry now. its 11.40p.m at night.

today is a patch-up day.
im feeling better!

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

-- Angel by Sarah Mclachlan

i feel very bad cuz im supposed to be doing work right now...but too addicted to watching muse videos on youtube. i want BLACK HOLES AND REVELATIONS. oh and maybe Absolution too.

i tell you, matthew bellamy is totally awesome. he's got style. and killer cheekbones.

bowling was really awesome today. leonie bowled very well...we were second behind lynx, who had wayne. he bowled a fucking 254. well i think aquila has a really good chance of winning, cuz our averages are quite strong. =)

Greetings, starshine, the earth says hello! Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane! Attacked by Christmas toys? That's strange, that's the second toy complaint we've had.

im feeling random.
the first person to tag with the three correct movie titles where the above quotes come from wins a prize. mystery gift.

btw, happy birthday grace!

too tired to post nicely. nothing's really on my mind right now...well maybe except sleep.

thanks kenickie for the pics =)
today wasnt a bad day luh.

nothing else to talk about. =) hope langarts will be good tmr.

oh my goodness i havent posted in like three days.

ive tried to lighten up considerably. hope its working. i think it is =)
does anyone want the old me back? cuz its depressing working with the mask on sometimes. although i must admit masochism plays a part in its existence.

keeping you out of my mind is really hard. so for now youre in a corner. but i do hope to fracture reality. its kinda selfish.

im only happy when it rains.

do people get suicidal thoughts often, like once every one or two days? its interesting to know.

anyway, running up and down the hall is NOT fun. its really stupid.
but i feel so light after going to the gym just now. yay. great. great. keeps my mind healthy....well healthier to some extent.


"There we are," she said. "How nice and cosy this is, isn't it?"

i was feeling so bored and tired so, i put anti bacterial body foam and washed my hair with it. now its so dry... >.<

i realise im dealing with a double blow right now.
coping is hard.
but im trying. its just very hard.
ACCEPTANCE, remember?

joked with leonie lots today. im glad she's in my group. willie too. and adeeb. and hui juan the math god in a demure human form.

swinging back to my life, you know, even though im such a non-sporty person, i think actually working out and doing physical stuff like bowling or running, or even just getting worked up, can get my mind off things easily. i feel so alive after that.

maybe its cuz i had a bad day. /torn i dunno. but i dont feel good again.

i dont /torn know how to react or even act when /torn i see you anymore. its just a /torn habit i guess, putting on that /torn mask so that i dont lose your /torn friendship.


help me take it off.
/torn
backed off in fear.

Because I've never felt like this before
I'm naked
Around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide /torn

--Naked by Avril Lavigne.

so many mixed feelings right now.


but mostly happy cuz tmr's a school dae. =)

alvin doesnt like long john silver's fries. like, wtf??
i like them lots since yesterday =X

LOOKING GOOD METER
flattened hair without cap < flattened hair with cap < styled hair without cap

haha. so random right. proves im high. for the moment.
keep smiling and i'll go away.
as long as you SMILE.

in the middle of a convo.

feeling very uncertain now. alot of emotions going through my head.
i just hope my friends will help me though.

its all the small things that matter lots.
thank you brother of panda. XP hope you get my drift.

guess i should post something since im online and i feel so bored.

God of War 2 is really nice. my bro's currently playing it. quite difficult though.
my mom thinks Regina Spektor sounds like Bjork. -.-''



today was national day. celebration. the only interesting part was when "President Nathan" drove right in. i wonder how scandalised Kiron must have felt haha.

moving rubber, eyeliner and stripy t-shirts. what an awesome morning. i have another thing to add to my list: ask parents to get contacts for me =)

rush hour 3! the bloopers were funny. haha.

yiwen thank you for the t-shirt. promise i'll wash and have it ready by next week.

i miss you already.
=X

hehe this are quotes from tori amos.

“If they keep crashing stuff into the moon, the moon's gonna get pissed off, and the tides'll change, and all the women'll start PMS-ing together. Then you guys are going to fucking regret it.”

whoa.

“I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs.... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts.”

take that asyraf. XP

kudos to the people who overwhelmed me with their tags. thank you...
i'll reply them when i have the time. hopefully soon =)


morbidity is just a state of the mind.
here are some actual epitaphs, to lighten the grave atmosphere.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia

She always said her feet were killing her

but nobody believed her.

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if

the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery

Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go.

John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife

Here lies my wife: here let her lie!

Now she's at rest, and so am I.

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood

In Memory of Beza Wood

Departed this life

Nov. 2, 1837

Aged 45 yrs.

Here lies one Wood

Enclosed in wood

One Wood

Within another.

The outer wood

Is very good:

We cannot praise

The other.

argh this is bad. im very upset and im listening to depressing songs. this is bad.

i feel very loser again. its a friday afternoon and im stuck at home WHAT THE FUCK man. come on! dont i have any life? im so dead in school too. there's nothing really interesting in school to make me look forward to it except my friends now. bring me out! take me somewhere! but i suppose they are too busy with their own lives, planning and having fun. i wanna have fun but im just too fucking attitude to do anything about it. argh.

well, if youre real friends, take me along. if not, then im very disappointed. but what can i say? give without expecting anything in return.

its always my fault and im sick of it.
sick and sick and sick of it.

was it last week? cuz the time just seemed so long ago. shivering with cold by the beach. in a strangely contented fashion. just away from everything.

Within Temptation - Our Farewell

edit:
that was before yiwen called me up. =) bubble tea anyone?

well the aftershock is great and setting in. im as happy as the chance encounter of a sewing machine and an umbrella on an operating table. =)
friends are really cool. they always make me happy. when i make people happy im happy. so give me lots and lots of chances to make you happy and i'll be happy. chat lightly but deeply. dont chat heavily and importantly but lightly. when school is over, school is OVER.
i screwed up the lit paper terribly, but i dont really mind or care now cuz you guys were with me. are with me.

in your head
what's in your head
zombie
?

i wish i had the effort to write a long dreary poem on the dreariness of studying. but no, im not that poetically inclined so too bad. XP

ive got a sudden stream of artistic ideas in my head. i should write them out before i forget them.

i call this one...um...havent got a title yet.



a hedge maze about 2.5 m high. in a huge white room.
a holographic projection of a guy dressed in a white long-sleeved shirt and jeans going around barefoot in the centre of the maze. he prowls about with hunched shoulders, hands in his pockets. he is fair-skinned.
abit like L.
the maze is a hedge maze. thing is, some gaps in the hedge are holographs, so walking into them will cause you to walk into the hedges. some apparent hedge walls are gaps as well, so you can walk through them.
holographic projections of the person in the centre of the maze attempt to guide viewers through the maze. however, some of them are misleading.