my worries are keeping me awake every night.

how i'm going to start.
how i'm going to break the news.
how i'm going to handle the pressure.
how i'm going to be after the repeated failings and the routines.
how i'm going to be in the group.

how all this might keep me from enjoying myself.

i'm just very scared.
i can't even do that first step.
i've done the pre-steps, now is just the execution.
then the follow through.
i really hope i haven't made the wrong decision or anything because i still feel so strongly about it, it's just that all these things are making me wonder and doubt.
and they're winning.

(but not for long, i hope)