HELLO! i haven't blogged in a long long time.

well, i see everyone in school so often that it's just quite unnecessary to blog. haha. and i don't think any of my new classmates visit my blog at all. hah. well if you do just tag. and i know my blog has lots of like, people who don't tag but read really often. i just wanna say a thankyou to leonie and leslie, the silent readers. strong and silent. LOL. =)

hmm dramanite went awesomely! totally loved it. it was quite an experience. i didn't forget any of my lines. hooray. and the audience went wild at gertrude, and zomg i received flowers at the end from the numerous people who went and watched the show! haha i really hope you guys had lots of fun and enjoyed it, and thank you all so much for supporting the production! and my voice is okay only lah, thanks to the people who said it was good/great/fantastic/jazzy XD

okay. you know in The Pussycat Dolls' "When I Grow Up"? do they say "YEAH" or "GEDDIT"? lol. my first impression was that they were saying YEAH. you have to really consciously listen and think "geddit" before you hear the "geddit". haha. well just a random fact.

what's coming up for me:
application for dance vice-pres! speech.
"Promiscuous" choreography
yeah that's all. hahaha. and uh, catching up on work and revision. my parents are going crazy for me to do those. trust me lah.

IPOD TOUCH!

"I don't know where to start
Say I'm tired or throw a party
These cucumber eyes are lying the more that i smile about it
And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do"



aren't the lyrics so beautiful?
the song's by Frou Frou.
the title is It's Good To Be In Love.

wheeee it's the end of the weekend.

um, today my mom was the angriest i've ever seen her. strangely enough, i was calm throughout the whole episode even though she was angry at me. i figured it wasn't a big deal, and it really wasn't. she had no right to be so upset and i guess she kinda knew it, that's why she was getting more and more upset that she was wrong. if you wanna know why, it's just cuz i didn't dry my hair dry enough today. haha. oh well. i don't have a guilty conscience about it, it feels so free. oh and she's still not talking to me. ah well it's more of a benefit i guess. although i was thinking about it in church, and really, how do you know what thoughts you think are influenced by good and what are those influenced by bad? do the distinctions even exist in the first place? and to think about it guys, do you know how much of our lives are influenced by religion? a hell lot.

um, anyway the most worrisome thing right now on my mind is the choreography. no ipod=no portable music=no time/opportunity to choreo halo! ahhh. scary.

i lost my ipod. it's still affecting me. sighh. so damn sad. and i sense my mom is growing in her unfounded worries that i'm not coping with work with all my activities. i've already been really resolute, more so than a certain tkgs girl. and i'm gonna strive to do more.

what worries me is when i'm gonna get the new one. it's tough living without one. i'm not being spoilt. i'm a music addict and i need my fix.

ERIC VAN DER WOODSEN IS BACKK~~!!

lol. and i really don't fancy that jai ho song from the slumdog millionaire soundtrack.

just now i was fuming that my computer didn't print out my essay right.

now because of my stupid contact lens my left eye feels raw cuz i've tried a few times to get the lens out. sigghhhh. sometimes when i'm grumpy i can fume at anything. ANYTHING. including how my fingers move so stupidly across the keyboard and keep getting in the way of other keys, and i have to backspace repeatedly.

okay. gossip girl still on.

I see your halo halo HALO!!!

love that song. choreographed something for it, my first ever. =)

please come for our dance competition concert! 10th april. inform me by thursday!

hooray.

well, i've decided to join the dance team for musicfest, that means i can't perform with the band. there were comments though about our audition item, and i thought that was really heartening and encouraging. but i don't have singapore idol in mind so yeah.

reading books that you're interested in is the sexxx.

yeah true. i'm reading the watchmen now. thank you asyraf, kevin, gabriel, lucas, wadee, adeeb, jq, gra, willie, leonie, darren, ashley, wanqing, gwen, simin, yazzie, and amanda. in no particular order, just the rough order found in lucas' book. =) thanks and nice quick thinking of covering the price lucas. just think if i had looked at it...*shudder*. i'm still reading the book and it is awesome. definitely worth keeping and re-reading, until i grow old. gwen, i hope you enjoyed (and are still enjoying) your birthday like me! =) 07v13 rocks. you're making me feel guilty for not buying presents XD

i am also caught up in work though, haha. <--- it's a sarcastic kind of laugh where you're not really enjoying it. although i must say, my body's consciousness is much more now. i feel like i'm able to stay up much longer on days that i don't have dance. =) hope it stays like this and keeps improving.

lots of things going on.
thursday, church.
friday, igloo gig. and photoshoot.
saturday, dance rehearsal at hougang.
sunday, ditto.
next friday, dance PERFORMANCE at hougang. must persuade people to go and sell the tix too. =) i think i'll need more tix.
dramanite rehearsals peppering over the weeks. culminating on 24th april.
choir concert. mid may.
musicfest finals, mid may.

go me.
lit trip?

THANK YOU THANK YOU.

=)

musicfest auditions!

chillax, stretch out, your life's just beginning.

no point to most of things you do.

Keane - We Might As Well Be Strangers

I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another time
We might as well

Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know

funny how you can feel so REFRESHED at almost midnight.

just to check up, i've done like half the history essay. it was a struggle, but i'm positive i can finish it tmr. definitely finish it before passing it up on time. don't wanna think about econs now. i'm chilling (like, in every sense of the word. the weather/temperature's nice and there's this comforting glow from the computer screen. best part of all, i'm being aurally pleasured as if in a live lounge right now with the script right in front. their music is great.)

haha so anyway tmr the band's meeting up for the first time and it's only like less than a week before our musicfest performance or sth. XD dunno lah. struggle on! hooray.

the mike kinda muffles your voice i think. however, recording standard, it doesn't. strange. sometimes i feel it's counterintuitive.

missed the class outing today. sad. but i hope everyone who went had fun! i mean, from the bottom of my heart. really. and i know sometimes my jokes are insensitive and inappropriate. and i realise that, cuz some situations aren't meant to be made fun of. so yeah. i know it. changing's another matter, but tell me okay.

well yeah. i kinda think that why my blogposts are so random and are kinda flowy sometimes is cuz i like to digress from the slightest idea and also that i'm very sick of writing forced essays.

it's the demons that we kill when we talk about them.

poetry is just a better or new way of expressing something. you know for the times when there aren't words to express yourself? that's a poetic moment if you use it well.
sometimes i just look down on those that make everything seem more difficult than it really is. if there are words to say it, say it. don't go in circles or curves or carwheels. get straight to the point.

thanks for leaving me alone.
yeah, thanks.

i've got so much work to do that all i can think of is work and j. and sometimes m as well. but yeah. there's just so much to do that i'm feeling more stressed now than ever this year. and that includes school days and work weeks. sigh. the week's half gone (more than that actually) and yeah. i'm moving at a snail's pace through the workload. sighhh. the history essay, i haven't even started it yet. sorry to talk about this dismal subject. but yeah i need to prioritise and exercise self-control. and that involves dragging my tired ass out to starbucks or somewhere to study. for me, it helps. but now i don't like making journeys to a place. or back, for that matter, sometimes now. haha. omg my thoughts are so convoluted.

okay yeah back to that self-control issue. i keep sidetracking. and there's just too much info on the net. it's a good thing but most of the time a bad thing as well cuz you have to sift through. i thank god for the "find" tool. but yeah, sidetracking like this is not good. cuz there's so much work i don't feel like doing it. so come to think of it, it's so paradoxical.

back to work then. peace, everyone. i hope you're not feeling as terrible as i am. ignorance is bliss, sometimes.

grr my com sucks.

it's so frustrating to have a com that countdowns your memory space. from 300+MB when you first start the com to 0. and that's without downloading any fucking thing into the com. stupid stupid glitch. i wanna buy a new mac, and when that's set up and all, i wanna rip this stupid thing into shreds. and break it. and smash it. and stomp on it. hahahaha yeah that's what i'll do. screw recycling for just this once.

umm it's gonna be exciting. cuz there's gonna be dance. one thing that really struck me was what sef said. "i don't want you guys to get sian of the dance." and that got me to think. i mean, the point of practicing is to get yourself so familiarised with the song/dance/item that you kinda practically hate it to the core and never wanna hear/do it again. but does it really have to be that way? i mean, it's kinda wrong just hating your own chosen art. might as well not do it that well, but know it and enjoy it. we're not at that level yet and most probably won't be, so don't overdo it and ruin your energy. let it sync.

poetry has many levels, and i wanna discover them. not all of them, but almost all, if possible. i feel as if i've only hit the top.

i'm scared of going to bed cuz i might not be able to sleep.
i'm scared of going to bed cuz i'm sick of sleeping today.
i'm scared of sleeping cuz i might not wake up well.

anyway i'm gonna be alone for the next couple of days. ready or not, here i come.
or, come on over baby.

okay it's time for another post. i'm calling the edusave account balance, it's very interesting to hear the woman's soulless voice over the loudspeaker of my phone. there's something very hypnotic about her voice...it's like you never ever wanna stop listening to all those static clicks and shuffles in the background of the recording. XDDD OMG STOP BEING SO RETARDEDLY ARTSY LAH MOVE ON TO THE POST.

oh yeah what i wanna say is. YO 07V13!! hello hello hello. it's so fun seeing you guys here and there in school. anyway, i'm still onto my idea of buying a new macbook. this old one looks dirty. and the software is running dry, sucks. i wish it'd stop. very irritating.

okay yeah um people don't change their organisations to VJC! so irritating! haha. today cuz got break so i walked out of school alone in the windy rain. i don't like walking in the rain when it's kinda uncomfortably cold and even with an umbrella. there's something unnerving about it. OH YES and i have to comment about the number of things going on in my life. don't you find IP gives you alot of opportunities in JC life? it's like teachers kinda know you and they push you here and there for things that are most certainly welcome. like the emcee thing THIS FRIDAY AT VJC'S VOG (very own games)! =) and the pre-u seminar. but of course there are some things born out of my actions. like DANCE<3. it's a hart. and also the lit trip. which is gonna be interesting. this first half of the year has set many traps for me, and i shan't trip and fall flat on my face on any of them. =)

are holidays supposed to cause much added stress to relationships and families?

every time i hear a phone ring i cringe and pray. well, in the lighter sense of the word.

well, i passed my napfa so far, i think the other items will be a cinch. particularly looking forward to sit and reach, can't wait to see how much my flexibility has improved.
ah today would have been extremely enjoyable in the simplest sense of the word, with pleasurable company. except for the admin stuff...which was a headache and i must've complained to tons of people and put on a long face. lol. at least got my ____________ KELLY DON'T ANYHOW SAY LAH BASKET SIA.

waiting in anticipation for the emcee results to come out. the more i think of it, the more interesting i think it'll be. got lots of interesting things happening right now. some causing more stress than others. but everything'll be worth it.

mother is the barometer of grumpiness for the family. if she's grumpy, the night's a bitch. just now her mood swung and she told me that she didn't believe me that studying in school might help. fuck you lah. fuck off. i know what i'm doing this time. at least i know better.

i'm taking solace in mood music. nothing as cryptic as múm though. something more comforting and enveloping like Madeline Peyroux and Stina Nordenstam. speaking of her, the song "The Morning Belongs To The Night" is playing on my itunes right now.

my phone beeped again.
time to jump.

zomg i can't believe how much time i wasted just by marvelling at my mac's display and colour.

and LOOKING AT NEW MACS TO BUY. zomg. it's really really beautiful. and my com's screwing up cuz i can't save any work i've done. it's fucked. wasted my time abit. but really. the mac is beautiful. i just don't want it to have this problem anymore. it's such a waste. sighhhh. you know, itunes looks positively ugly as compared to all the other sleek, sharp looking softwares of the mac.

anyway something commentable about today was that it rained perfectly after a couple of weeks/months not raining like this. it's something, today really is. and i didn't really feel sleepy during lessons. just after them. slept awhile at the stone tables while kelly went to change my songs to coldplay. they're coming, and mercury rev are opening for them. how rad is that. totally british. and yeah no dance but i feel terribly sleepy. like i started to feel super sleepy from 7.45. i think cuz it was hunger plus random things. keeping the volume low and playing slow songs now. like the pierces. well some of their songs.

GO SLEEP NOW STOP WASTING VALUABLE SLEEPING. YOU JUST WASTED ONE HOUR OF SLEEP.

LOL kevin effing funny. like wth lah XD

hahahaha hello. um there's nothing much to say. i think i'm entering musicfest. i've got two questions, one, can i enter more than one category? two, will i be able to cope?

yeah. and uh, the class blog is kinda up but still not really up yet, so i'm just putting this statement down as a reminder to myself. hah.
i've decided to forgo music for the whole of this weekend. nothing from my playlists. so yeah. haha.

um, STJTS was fun! it was fun without all the work. which made it even more fun, except for the fact that they were playing frisbee and i was so scared of getting my beautiful nose hit again. XDD food was great (everything pre-cooked) and the firestarters were very very good. we should get those lah. they look like what, cookies or sth. very very cool. good job juniors! organise again! lol.

painted the a11 AQUILA banner! it was great, but i didn't really do anything. supported shervin though, YAY. i thought your posters/ flyers/ things were AWESOME. so quirky. that's what the SC needs. quirk. well...nothing else said, time to go! looking forward to the next week. well, anything that isn't this weekend.

sorry those few sentences didn't really mean anything. i just want to touch you emotionally. and these lyrics do it. 'nuff said.

The Feeling - Strange

Cause everyone knows we're strange
So why do you feel ashamed
Baby
Everyone knows we're different
So why do you feel ashamed
We love you all the same

Nelly Furtado - Childhood Dreams

I can't believe you need me
I never thought would be needed for anything
I can't believe my shoulder would carry such important weight
As your head and your tears
I can't believe you chose me, in all my fragility, me
It hurts so much when I love you, it makes me cry
Every time

You, you are, oh you are

The little boy made for me in the stars
In the stars, that's why I can't let you go
The little boy made for me in the stars
That's why I love you more the further I go
And before this existence you were always there
Waiting for me
You are, you are the realest thing I know
Hands down
The realest thing I know

today is a rainy day.
i'm at gabriel's house with adeeb, asyraf, lucas, gra, simin and wadee. it's cool and all. i ate too many snacks in the morning so i felt full all the way. right now it's 3.20 and people still have lessons, whereas i finished at 2.30. and i dunno what to do. i do need to eat dinner though, so going for the class outing.

tiredtiredtired.
who knew sitting down and staying awake could be tiring.
i wanna dance.

hey jinghan, stay positive in the army! =) oh that ne-yo song is stuck in my head. send it over quick okay hahaha.

um yo. hahaha. i've got not much to do. but i know for a fact that last sat was the most fun saturday i had in school. no stress, nothing else but fun. haha. thanks to jieqi and amanda for keeping me company. what else what else. well weekends are generally boring. bought a couple of pairs of school shoes. shockingly i debunked dunks for something else that's similar but not dunks. sigh. i don't know why i did that, but i've got hardly any regrets cuz i like the shoes.

been doing lit research for the past couple of days. south africa is seriously interesting. and the lit lessons have been giving me a new lease of life. and i look at poetry in a more careful, thoughtful way now. thanks to ms chia who's been an awesome CT and helper and friend and teacher.

so. i downloaded this new thing that reads and records your music's bpm. each and every single track on your itunes. so for those people who run to music or who listen to music while running, it can automatically produce a playlist for your ipod, for you to run to. just fill in the bpm range and whatever customisations you wanna make to the playlist and it'll do everything else. =) the software's called TANGERINE. oh and why i downloaded it is because i needed a dance warmup playlist. sometimes the music's too fast or too slow, you know? =P

stjts on fri. that'll be interesting. super interesting. can't wait to see you guys again. 24/7 exposure to simin isn't really considered healthy.