watched transformers yesterday. cant help feeling abit of regret though, could have gone with willie and tim and yiwen.

the show rocked. big time. Shia LaBeouf looked good in the show. so did Megan Fox but she hardly said anything interesting. (eye candy anyone?)

zomg i just found out that Shia LaBeouf is the main character in Disturbia, a horror movie thats coming out in singapore soon together with Dead Silence. coolness. ive read the storylines btw so just ask me if ur too scared to watch it but wanna know the story.

A depression so deep it finds a way into the Soul,
and travels through every pore of your Heart.
A depression so large it encompasses every bit
of your Reality,
and leaves Reality a cloudy memory.

A depression so dense it compresses every will
you once had,
and bows you down to accept it as it's own.
A depression so devious it takes you piece by piece,
and consumes each piece day by day.

A depression so truly disheartening,
and leaves you no other emotions.
A depression so dangerous,
and kills,
everything,
inside of you.

Darrel Kincaid

i wish i could find a way to release the tension that's been building up slowly inside of me.
and i get very down when im with good friends.
i feel like im not good enough for them, or theyre too good for me.

you know what.
i am in serious need of someone special.
someone like me but better.

DONT be STUPID boy what are you DOING to yourself STOP PLAYING all these mind games with me cuz MASOCHISM exists.

he will never get it unless you tell him but im afraid of going out.
pieces of me.

IDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOW
DONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOW
DONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOW
DONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOWDONTKNOW

anyone.
anything.
anymore.

im currently in love with kelly clarkson's never again video.
not the song.

A trophy wife Oh, how cute
Ignorance is bliss

Give me that sunday school answer
REPENT YOURSELF AWAY

first day of school was ok.
i learnt that people "are born with confidence. over time it is worn down."

thats interesting.

helddownxxx (4 weeks ago)
There's no such thing as Goddamn labels.
Preps are done.
Emo is done.
Jocks are done.
Glam is done.
Goth is done.

The only label we have is The Human Being label.
That's the end of it.

oh dear.

Runaway love.
i saw the frays "how to save
a life" video for the
tenth time running and i
am very impressed it gives me cold chills
every time i watch it when i finally
figured out the lyrics, (i was a flower.)

im very touched.

where did i go wrong
i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness and
i would have stayed up with you all night
had i known
how to save a life

correct me if im wrong. i listened and typed.

i dont feel like going back to school.
even though school has given me the best times of my life, and

the best people.

one good stretch before our hibernation.
sleep well.

people, if the picture is too big or too small, could you tag and say? thanks. trying out new blogskin that i made. "made".

this situation really reminds me of Charlotte Perkin Gilman's The Yellow Wallpaper. what was supposed to help me is slowly driving me mad. gothic fairytale. a brown cockroach is flying over my head and it should have completed the picture.



mike. mike. mike.
i got over you before even knowing you.

i'm posting this at night so i guess it's still counted.

Happy 15th Birthday Amanda!

Sometimes i get so weird
i even freak myself out
i laugh myself to sleep it's my
lullaby

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

-Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne =)

i was really stunned by this song.
avril you rock girl. i never get tired listening to you! even if youre pop, i dont get the pop vibe from you in Let Go. =DDDD

interesting things that happened to me yesterday.
i got tired of using the com
i watched mtv!
i loved/hated Umbrella by rihanna. mwah-ugh. one of the most conflicting emotions ive ever gotten from a song.



Take some time,
Mellow out,
Party up,
I don't fall down,
Don't get caught,
Sneak out of the house.

Can't help if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
But sometimes I can't even speak,
Will someone be and not pretend? I'm off again in my world


pictures courtesy of deviantart~

"According to the rules of the theme: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 7 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

1. im totally insecure. i dont fully understand why either. but its just who i am and im sometimes trying to change it.

2. i dont feel like i can express myself well at all. i try to be as honest as i can with my feelings, but it all comes out sounding very weird quite often. i sometimes feel that only people who have gone through what im feeling are able to understand me.

3. ok, something more trivial. i love sashimi!

but i CANNOT stand sushi.

4. i think that i think like half a guy and half a girl. and im lovin it. quite.

5. i think most rap songs are the greatest insults to music ever created.

6. i really really really like compliments. and i like people paying attention to the smallest things i do, like reading these posts.

7. i muchmuch enjoy mixing with the UBERCOOL people and the nerds. people from the extremes of the social bounds. i never liked mixing with the boring middle people. if you wanna do something, do it WELL guys.

yeah. thanks wadee for tagging.


next seven pple (hopefully you havent been tagged before, otherwise just dont do it.)


Grace

Robin

Ashwin

JonTeo

Kit Meng

XianHui

Yining

today was the closest i ever got to seriously cutting my wrist wide open.

father's day. i bought a card for my dad from korea. he doesnt mind what kind of gift it is, as long as i put some thought into it. but my mom wasnt happy. after a stream of f*** and a****** and b******, she said i didnt appreciate them enough. that i dont love them enough. she just PUSHED aside all thoughts of our efforts in preparing her that breakfast on mother's day. she didnt give a DAMN about it.

YOU WANT US TO BE GIRLS? TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE "IMPORTANT" DATE? GET REAL, GUYS ARENT THAT TOUCHY ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF. I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU.

sometimes i think about what parents i would like. definitely not this.
oh yeah, IM BANNED FROM MY HP. no one to talk to about this. and msn too. guys, if youre reading this, in case i actually do anything that takes my own life, check my handphone notes. theres a note that i need someone to do.

just got back from my wonderful impulse shopping spree at parkway. yeah i know its not much but its a START!
haha oh man girls.

bought presents for *ahem* robin, daphne and amanda. didnt buy anything for myself though...i used the money i earned from helping my mom to finance the prezzies.

ZOMG they removed KEANE from the shelves! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HOPES AND FEARS ALBUM! i was so shocked!

the weekend is going to be so depressing. its a full weekend with my beloved parents, who are going to bring me out on fun trips to do exciting activities. im totally looking forward to spending time with them.

not.

*Unexplained on your collar*

i can get anything i want cuz-


haha yeah dream on man.

Kill
Break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Falling from myself
Falling for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am

- The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars


i really dont know what to think anymore.
its frustrating COPING with all this in my head.
i need to listen to more emo songs.
i just dont know how to say it.
it doesnt feel like the holidays anymore.
i need HELP but i cant help.
i cant scream too,
only if someone is there with me.

yeah.
maybe i do need more time.

i just dont wanna wait.

saturday was a very cool day.

i attended two church sessions. first, went for mr yang's wedding at bishan. it was a small event but very sincere. half the hall was occupied by students invited by the two teachers. after that, there was lunch provided and i ate some. haha then yiwen and i met mr lin. we talked some. and ZOMG he said Bjork was good. isnt that just totally cool. but then later we had our recurring argument:

Mr Lin: You people are weird.
Me: Thats why we're in the IP, sir.

hohoho and he finally put something in his earhole. yiwen said that mr lin was popular with us cuz his character had a small something each of us had. how true.



then later went out with yiwen to bugis. i saw EEEIIIII and it like made my day luh. i was looking for something interesting but the wallets were just too small and useless. thats the fashion nowadays? how pathetic.

then i think we visited the stall again and i saw this cool sling bag. wanted to get it but was 10 dollars short i think. so i shall visit the stall again one day. with more money. XP

another ubercool shop was the mickey clothes shop. the shoes were like GODLY. ive never seen a shoe that i actually LOVED before. but there was this black and gold shoe which was limited edition and beautifulbeautifulbeautiful and if i were richer (which hopefully i will be) i would get it. didnt even bother to browse the clothes. was too busy staring at the shoe. haha. you know, im starting to sound like a girl.



thank god for ipods.

Keane - Put it Behind You

posting twice in a day. this is bad.

its funny whenever i think of the trip i get this really sick feeling.

i went out with JJ and Kash today. was waiting at shaw when yyiwen called and he sounded...different. then watched shrek 3 which wasnt really nice. after that went to the american club and played pool and bowled. got totally trashed in pool but i owned their asses in bowling. hohoho thanks vj bowling team.

Lucas smsed me during the bowling game. im so happy he actually remembered that i said Rachel Yamagata was good. thank you Lucas for remembering! btw ur friends are cool man.

ate dinner with JJ and Kash by the pool. there was some view but it wasnt eye-catching, if you know what i mean. i liked being at the american club because:

it was quite vip treatment man.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

oh dear. whatever.

you probably came here to look for pictures and happy cheerful thoughts about the recent Korea trip. well, if thats true, then fuck off. see the links page? well, go click on anything in the second chunk of names. then you'll get what you want.

hey, maybe i DO have a borderline personality.

sweet communion.

this is the first post after coming back from Korea.
so bloody tired.
im going to sleep.

1. Get an iPod.
2. Get an iPod case.
3. Get entire album collection of Nightwish from Ren Jie.
4. Get new spectacles.
5. Get Nightmare Before Christmas wallet, cap, belt, bag.
6. Get new handphone.