i guess with the weekend here, im getting very frustrated. very very frustrated. im sorry for ranting. but i have to. its therauputic. letting something out. or else i would have jumped already. seriously.

i do not want to stay over at the condo for the weekend.
not every weekend.
do not force me to go over there and stay there and rot and do stuff that you force me to do.
i do not find them fun.

i hate you.
i hate you both right now. to your guts.
i dont ask anything of you.
i just ask for my allowance.
i dont bother you or bug you for it.
its fine if you dont give it to me for a week or two.
but please.
i dont expect to be called a selfish person.
i keep to myself, you keep to yours.
like a traditional japanese household.
i will leave you alone.
i want to be left alone.
i will come to you when i want to. when the time is right. when i feel like there's something worth telling.
just leave me alone.

please.
i cant take much more of your persistence.
ignorant persistence.

i want to go out.
away from you both for a while.
give me some time to myself.
let go.
i will have to learn for myself.
i dont mind learning for myself.
just give me the basic needs that i truly need.
i'll learn.

thanks alvin for your counselling session.

this is a definite hopefully loud cry for help.
im so insecure, dammit.